A.V. Club Most Read

News Newswire Great Job, Internet!
TV Club All Reviews What's On Tonight
Video All Video A.V. Undercover A.V. Cocktail Club Film Club
Reviews All Reviews Film TV Music Books
Features All Features Newswire Coming Distractions
Sections Film Tv Music Food Comedy Books Games Aux
Our Company About Us Contact Advertise Privacy Policy Careers RSS
Onion Inc. Sites The Onion The A.V. Club ClickHole Onion Studios

Today in “Oh God what is even happening here”: Wrestler Zack Ryder’s “Hoeski” music video

Considering Zack Ryder is a professional wrestler by trade, it’s safe to assume that his new song, “Hoeski,” is meant to be at least somewhat tongue-in-cheek. Safe to assume, because doing otherwise might cause you to spiral into an abyss of confusion and despair over the undying trend of celebrity “musicians” releasing “songs” that sound like they were recorded inside a Crockpot and contain couplets like “Roses are red, violets are blue / you may have left me, but I still woo-woo-woo.” Wikipedia says “woo woo woo” and “broski” are both Ryder catchphrases—hey, cool catchphrases, guy—which makes this basically a poorly conceived (or is it geniusly conceived?) commercial for the Ryder brand, rather than a simple cautionary tale about morally loose women of Eastern European descent. (You shut your mouth.) Either way, it must be seen to be believed, and good luck getting that tanned smirk and monotone “woo-woo-woo” out of your head today.

Submit your Great Job, Internet tips here.