Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Wednesday, February 6. All times are Eastern.
Supernatural (The CW, 9 p.m.): Now, we don’t have a goddamned clue what this episode is about, but—and this is a big but—it’s named “Everybody Hates Hitler,” and after last week’s time-traveling escapades, we’re pretty sure this will be the beginning of a weird retooling, which will end with Sam and Dean trying to raise a baby Hitler and make him just evil enough to not fuck up the time stream. Or, rather, this will be the next big relaunch of the show’s mythology, as promised by the producers. Whatever! Phil Dyess-Nugent is ready and willing for this show to become Fascist Babies.
Arrow (The CW, 8 p.m.): A vicious criminal has his sights set on Arrow, and Oliver will presumably have to deal with that at some point. Alasdair Wilkins just can’t get over the fact that Oliver is somehow in the Russian mob somehow, but he hopes you won’t guess that he’s in the super-evil Scottish mafia.
The Middle (ABC, 8 p.m.): Brick really wants an iPad, and if this were a lesser show, we’d fear this would just be an opportunity for product placement. But even if it is opportunity for product placement, we’re sure the Hecks will bemoan just how expensive it is. Will Harris will get you an iPad next year, sweetie.
Modern Family (ABC, 9 p.m.): This week’s episode lists four separate plot strands, because everybody knows this show is at its best when it’s overcomplicating things by trying to give everybody in the cast their own plot! Claire Zulkey fills in for Donna this week, but, really, we should have four reviewers.
Suburgatory (ABC, 9:30 p.m.): There’s nothing not funny about zoning issues, and when Dallas’ property is discovered to be in East Chatswin, Dalia has to go to a new high school, which sounds like it could be fun to us. Brandon Nowalk just discovered he has similar issues and will review this at the East A.V. Club.
The Americans (FX, 10 p.m.): Clocks are having a big 2013! They’re central to the plot of Zero Hour, they turned up on Grimm, and now a clock is at the center of tonight’s second episode of this critically acclaimed, high-rated new series. Todd VanDerWerff and Genevieve Koski don’t know how to tell time.
Nashville (ABC, 10 p.m.): The last episode ended well, with everybody getting on the same plane to start Rayna and Juliette’s tour. We hope that bodes well for things, y’know, actually starting to happen. Todd VanDerWerff will give you just one last chance, Nashville, before he turns you into a goon!
Top Chef (Bravo, 10 p.m.): Can you still call this season Top Chef: Seattle if the chefs are in Alaska now? We don’t really think so, but it definitely makes you think. All Emily Withrow is saying is if the season were decided by giving the victory to whomever finished highest in the Iditarod, she wouldn’t mind.
Workaholics (Comedy Central, 10 p.m.): The guys take to betting on high school sports, something Kevin McFarland doesn’t recommend, because of all that money he lost betting on the Dillon Panthers against the East Dillon Lions back in the horrible days of 2010. Really, don’t talk to him about it. Ever.
Kroll Show (Comedy Central, 10:30 p.m.): “Rich guys go shopping,” says the episode description for this one at TV Guide. David Sims doesn’t know about this for sure—since he has yet to inherit the massive Sims Pennywhistle Fortune—but he’s betting when you’re a rich guy, you can buy even more cool stuff!
TV CLUB CLASSIC
Slings & Arrows (1 p.m.): Okay, now that one of the main characters is dead and another has taken over the festival, we can finally get this show on the road, and… what’s that? We still need to see how Hamlet starts coming together? Todd VanDerWerff is just noticing how this show takes a while to get going.
WHAT ELSE IS ON
Person Of Interest (CBS, 8 p.m.): If you’ve been finding our praise of this show a bit odd, you should check out this mostly standalone, very entertaining hour from early in this season, to get a good sense of what the show does well. That, or you should just wait for our upcoming column on the series.
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (NBC, 9 p.m.): If you’ve been wondering who’s going to win the Best Guest Actor In A Drama Series Emmy come September, you can probably stop wondering about that now. Because tonight’s episode has Mike Tyson in a prominent role, and no one bests Iron Mike!
Nova (PBS, 9 p.m.): The venerable science series devotes a full hour to an examination of ancient Egyptian chariots. Hey, PBS! You’re supposed to be an American network! Why don’t we devote some time to some awesome American things, like the science of why America is just so gosh darn awesome!
Barter Kings (A&E, 10 p.m.): In tonight’s episode, Steve first barters for a car, which makes sense. If you can just trade a bunch of used books or some beads for a car, more power to you, friend! But then he barters for a hot-air balloon ride, and it just seems weird to give up all your best fur pelts for that.
All Quiet On The Western Front (TCM, 8 p.m.): What’s quiet on the Western front? Well, everything is, apparently. And, look, Craig J. Clark. We know you hate the 31 Days Of Oscar, but we love it, because we get to see awesome movies like this, and the stupid ones that bamboozled the Academy into loving ‘em.
The Devil Wears Prada (FMC, 8 p.m.): A couple of nights ago, Film Crit Hulk was tweeting about this movie, and we found ourselves reminded of how it’s really kind of fun. That is, unless you’re one of those people who thinks Anne Hathaway is just the worst. But then you’d be a crazy person, right?
NBA Basketball: Spurs at Timberwolves (ESPN, 9 p.m.): The Spurs have the best record in the Western Conference. The Timberwolves have one of the five worst. It’s anybody’s guess as to why ESPN decided to highlight this game, but we continue to insist we get some Trail Blazers/Bobcats match-ups and soon.
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
The Joe Schmo Show (Tuesday): Have you been watching this enjoyably comic romp through reality show clichés? If not, well, Scott Von Doviak thinks you’ve been missing out. We’re curious to see how this all works out after last week’s big cliffhanger, but Scott has a screener and all of the details.