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The top pick is Modern Family because why not?

Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Wednesday, April 30. All times are Eastern.

Modern Family (ABC, 9 p.m.):
Because we can’t just make The Americans the top pick every week—though, trust us, we really want to—we suppose we can throw the top pick in Modern Family’s direction. Points in its favor: It’s on tonight. We haven’t made it the top pick in a while. Ty Burrell is still a really funny guy, even when episodes disintegrate around him, and this episode is a Phil Dunphy-centric one. Points against it: Doesn’t it feel a little lazy to pick this? Especially when it’s not an episode where everybody’s going to Australia at the drop of a hat? Joshua Alston thinks we should have held out for at least a summer camp episode.

Arrow (The CW, 8 p.m.):
With just three episodes left in the season, last week’s episode increased a slowly mounting simmer to a full boil, complete with shocking deaths and all manner of things. Anyway, Alasdair Wilkins waits to see if the show can keep the momentum going.

Survivor (CBS, 8 p.m.): This episode is entitled “Chaos Is My Friend,” which, honestly, sounds like it could be the title of the next album by The National. Carrie Raisler once made the acquaintance of Chaos, and it just really messed her shit up.

The Americans (FX, 10 p.m.): Has it seemed like shit’s been going down on this show these last couple of weeks? Well tonight? Shit goes down. We’ll leave it to you to parse what that might mean, but Genevieve Koski and Todd VanDerWerff have bitten off all of their nails.

Steven Universe (Cartoon Network, 7 p.m.)
The Middle (ABC, 8 p.m.)
Suburgatory (ABC, 8:30 p.m.)

Band Of Brothers (1 p.m.):
We’re already halfway through? Well, that’s what happens when you only have 10 episodes! Todd VanDerWerff finds it very appropriate that this midpoint episode is entitled “Crossroads.” He will see you at them, in the grandest tradition of Bone Thugs N Harmony.

Our latest Inventory focuses on lots of serial killers who should have been caught, and some of your TV favorites are on there. Why, there’s ol’ Norman Bates! And could that be Hannibal Lecter? And Dexter Morgan! Dressed as a lumberjack for Halloween!

All About Ann (HBO2, 8 p.m.):
If you have a major thing for former Texas governor Ann Richards and missed the debut of this new documentary on HBO Monday night, here’s a convenient rebroadcast to fulfill all your wildest dreams!

Revolution (NBC, 8 p.m.): NBC has entitled this episode “S!#@ Happens,” but we all know what they’re trying to say. Just give it to us straight up, NBC. We can handle a little shit. We watched the first season of this show, after all! *high five*

Trip Flip (Travel, 9 p.m.): We have no idea what the premise of this show is or why it’s new tonight, but it is about going to the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally in Sturgis, South Dakota, and we are, thus, honor-bound to include it.

Down East Dickering (History, 10 p.m.): Here’s another reality show where we don’t precisely know what it’s about, but we do like the title of this show. It sounds vaguely dirty, like something you might do in one of those summers between years off at college.

Hairspray (VH1, 8 p.m.): When this movie was released, the critic who grades everything on a scale of “Does it have John Travolta in a fat suit in drag singing and dancing with Christopher Walken?” let out a silent prayer of thanks to the gods.

Man Hunt (TCM, 10 p.m.): This absorbing World War II thriller examines the question of what happens if you need to make your way throughout wartorn Europe without your papers. Trust me, friend. You do not want that to happen. For maximum effect, follow this one up with Gore Verbinski’s Mouse Hunt.

MLB Baseball: Rays at Red Sox (ESPN, 8 p.m.): Yeah, the NBA Playoffs have been tremendous this year, and we’re sure that hockey something too. But c’mon, you guys. It’s baseball. The national pastime. Let’s pretend we care about it this early in the season, like the good Americans we are!

New Girl (Tuesday): It’s been a while since they ended an episode of New Girl with a scene where everybody danced, but here’s an episode that ends with a scene where everybody dances. It’s downright heart-warming, it is. Erik Adams is the only one who wasn’t dancing.