Confirming previous rumors that, like so much of the English language, were but constellations of words orbiting around Tyler Perry’s name, Tyler Perry’s Deadline confirms that Tyler Perry will indeed play a supporting role in David Fincher’s Gone Girl, the adaptation of the bestselling novel from Gillian Flynn that now has Tyler Perry in it. In what we promise will be the briefest of lists of people who are not Tyler Perry, one that must be grudgingly endured before getting to the Tyler Perry of it all, Kim Dickens and Patrick Fugit have also signed on to play the detectives investigating the mysterious disappearance of Rosamund Pike’s Amy, Neil Patrick Harris will play Amy’s former boyfriend, and Carrie Coon will play twin sister to Ben Affleck’s husband character. More importantylerperry, Tyler Perry will play Tanner Bolt, the attorney who represents Affleck, who’s described in the book as a flashy white guy with a penchant for spray-tanning—just the sort of role made for Tyler Perry to disappear into, as seamlessly as Tyler Perry disappears into playing an elderly woman.
As in Tyler Perry’s Alex Cross, Tyler Perry will accomplish this transformation by putting on a suit. “Tyler Perrrrrrryyyyyy,” a pink housecoat will whisper pleadingly to Tyler Perry each morning, but Tyler Perry will resist, knowing that it’s not time yet. Not until Tyler Perry’s A Madea Christmas, the poster for which coincidentally just debuted today. It features Tyler Perry’s Madea as a Nutcracker—because she busts balls or something, and balls are sometimes called "nuts." Like Tyler Perry, it has layers.
Send your Newswire tips to firstname.lastname@example.org