The USA Network has announced a summer schedule featuring six original scripted shows—including two new shows, which will air together on the same night. The four returning shows are Royal Pains, returning for its sixth season Tuesday, June 10; Covert Affairs, returning for its fifth season Tuesday, June 24; Suits, beginning its fourth season Wednesday, June 11; and Graceland, beginning its second season also on June 11. The rational, human response to this news is “Jesus Christ, Royal Pains has been on for six seasons?” so don’t worry if that was your initial reaction. (Another rational human response is to make a joke about how Suits is about suits, even though it’s not and actually an enjoyable show.) Also, we absolutely did not realize Graceland had been renewed for a second season, and we a.) liked that show, b.) pay attention to this stuff for a living, and c.) covered the entire first season. So there you go.
The two new shows will both launch Thursday, July 17, in a risky gambit on the part of USA to see just how many televisions in the United States are perpetually tuned to USA. Of the two shows, Rush sounds the most like a USA show, given that it’s a show about a “medical fixer” who works among the most powerful in Los Angeles. A show about a fixer in L.A. has a whiff of Showtime’s hit Ray Donovan, but, also, most of us just call “medical fixers” doctors, so it really isn’t all that impressive. The other is Satisfaction, which examines a modern American marriage. It sounds like USA making a desperate stab at critical relevance, but if you watch the trailer (which we won’t embed here because it autoplays and you could just watch it over at Deadline anyway), you’ll see that it actually involves fights that spill into pools and people staring lustily at each other. So it’s Dynasty, basically.
Also, here is USA’s description of Satisfaction:
A provocative drama that explores a marriage that has grown stagnant, Satisfaction follows investment banker Neil Truman (Matt Passmore, The Glades) through the accidental discovery of his wife’s involvement with a male escort. When Neil gains possession of the escort’s phone, he uncovers a unique perspective on his life and what motivates women to stray, as his wife, Grace (Stephanie Szostak, R.I.P.D., The Devil Wears Prada), contemplates whether her needs are being met and if her marriage is worth saving.
Yeah, definitely Dynasty.
Be sure to watch a few minutes of this show this summer when you’re over at a friend’s house getting ready to go do something else and they have it on, and you’re all, “What is this?” and they say, “I don’t know. Something on USA, maybe? I didn’t know they made shows.” You’ll nod knowingly, having forgotten you ever read this article.