Vanilla Ice, Sugar Slam, and helicopter rides: Yes, it's a new Gathering Of The Juggalos infomercial

Vanilla Ice, Sugar Slam, and helicopter rides: Yes, it's a new Gathering Of The Juggalos infomercial

Psychopathic Records has outdone last year's road-trip-themed infomercial with another half-hour video promoting the 12th Annual Gathering Of The Juggalos, introducing a lineup featuring headliners and festival masterminds Insane Clown Posse—billed as the "Most Hated Band in the World"—joined by MC Hammer, George Clinton and the P-Funk All Stars, Mystikal, Saliva, Kittie, Xzibit, Ice Cube, Rowdy Roddy Piper, Busta Rhymes, Jerry “The King” Lawler, Koko B Ware, Brian Posehn, Kottonmouth Kings, Scott Hall, Sean Waltman, and two secret acts to be announced at the festival itself.

This year's infomercial starts with a mishmash of sci-fi rip-offs, beginning with a Star Wars scrolling text preamble. Clearly there was a much bigger costume and effects budget this time around, and they even roped in Vanilla Ice as Vanilla Zerg, a space alien observing Earth who reports back to his master that he is "amazed by all the negativity. There was war, there was poverty, fighting, suffering, and unfortunately there was lots of straight-up hate." Purportedly, the Gathering will combat all this with Faygo wet T-shirt contests and "the greatest, most open minded people on earth"—like those opened-minded Juggalos who rejected Andrew W.K. by throwing bottles of urine at him and chased Tila Tequila back to her trailer and then attacked it.

DJ Clay—cleverly disguised as 3J Grey—continues the premise by setting Juggalo music apart from "commercialized, mainstream, watered-down, safe and censored, unauthentic, pop, pussy-fart bullshit," apparently brushing aside the corporate-label histories of many mainstage artists. Sugar Slam goes on to complain that "the big corporations own everything. The radio, the TV, the festivals, the tours. It's all part of the corporate machine controlled by boardrooms full of old bankers, and crooked rich fucks." In comparison, the Gathering will be "completely void of staleness," exemplified by Vanilla Ice's presence in the video. 

The announcer implores people to book their tickets now, warning that "one day this paradise may be shut down by the powers that be," and with other attractions set to include "midway Games run by real low-life carney scrubs that just want your cash" as well as "dangerous and terrifying helicopter rides with a presumably drunk pilot," it wouldn't be all that surprising.

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