Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Tuesday, July 23. All times are Eastern.
Web Therapy (Showtime, 11 p.m.): The A.V. Club has always had trouble finding readers for this show, which is definitely a reflection of its weird, out-of-the-way scheduling (tonight, it’s lead-in is the first part of The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn) and not an indication of the show’s quality. Or maybe we’re just deflecting, and we’re not digging deep enough into how we truly feel—Dr. Brandon Nowalk will be on duty tonight to listen to your concerns and offer his thoughts on Lisa Kudrow’s return to the chat-window offices of Dr. Fiona Wallice.
Pretty Little Liars (ABC Family, 8 p.m.): Ooh! Amateur arson investigation! The show gets to the bottom of the lodge fire—in the style of Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys, with any luck. Joe Reid hopes he isn’t able to solve the mystery within the first few
Nine For IX (ESPN, 8 p.m.): If a human being begins to weep at a depth of 166 meters below sea level, will they still produce tears? Director Alison Elwood tests this question on our own Kevin McFarland with a Nine For IX look at the tragic story of freediver Audrey Mestre.
Suits (USA, 10:01 p.m.): The Suits/Game Of Thrones crossovers continue as Catelyn Stark herself, Michelle Fairley, [REDACTED FOR THE SPOILER AVERSE AND GOT-TRAUMATIZED] and steps up as Harvey’s new client. Carrie Raisler is [REDACTED FOR THE SPOILER AVERSE AND GOT-TRAUMATIZED].
TV CLUB CLASSIC
The Shield (Classic) (11 a.m.): Investigating an open case, Vic happens upon crucial evidence embedded in a narcocorrido, the genre of so-called “drug ballads” that later gave Breaking Bad one of its best cold opens. If Vic happens upon any lyrical mentions of a “Heisenberg,” Brandon Nowalk suggests leaving that case alone.
Six Feet Under (1 p.m.): Before she was a guest star on Six Feet Under, Kathy Bates helmed three episodes of the show’s first two seasons. She’s back behind the camera for “Making Love Work,” and John Teti hopes she was more subtle in her directions to Rainn Wilson than she was with the “notes” she gave James Caan that one time. (Also, Six Feet Under needs to sustain the TV Club Classic Wilson Quotient while Erik Adams takes the next two weeks off from The Office.)
WHAT ELSE IS ON
Dallas Car Sharks (Velocity, 8:30 p.m.): Kudos to Velocity for showing some restraint and not biting into the zeitgeist by renaming this series Dallas Car Sharknado. Though a tornado filled with sharks and cars sounds like mighty tempting viewing fodder.
Power Broker (HGTV, 9 p.m.): Master negotiator and previous House Hunters guest Mike Aubrey gets his clients the best real-estate deals imaginable in this reality series that’s thankfully not a chronicle of zombified Robert Moses rising from the grave to become a Century 21 agent.
The Vineyard (ABC Family, 10 p.m.): ABC Family takes a break from deciding Bunheads’ fate to take an eight-week vacation in Martha’s Vineyard, where the 11 cast members of The Vineyard all work in a restaurant and share a house—which sounds like an unfortunately refined version of Jersey Shore to Caroline Siede.
Little People, Big World: Breaking Down The Walls (TLC, 10 p.m.): TLC hasn’t let go of the Roloff family so easily, following the 2010 finale of Little People, Big World with Little People, Big World: Wedding Farm as well as this special, the third of four LPBW sequels to air in 2013. In the last one, the family “conquered” Mt. St. Helen’s, so here’s hoping special number four takes place in outer space.
Virgin Tales (Showtime, 7:30 p.m.): It’s Not As Filthy As It Sounds, Pt. 1: This 2012 documentary chronicles the growing ranks of evangelical Christians whose ultra-chaste courting rituals forbid even kissing until the marriage license is signed. Of course, if Cinemax broadcast a film with this title, it’d be a different story.
Wet Hot American Summer (TMC, 8 p.m.): It’s Not As Filthy As It Sounds, Pt. 2: No, actually, it kind of is, but in that detached, gleefully filthy type of way you’d expect a summer-camp movie co-written by David Wain and Michael Showalter to be. Of course, if Cinemax broadcast a film with this title, you’d actually see the can of mixed vegetables suck its own dick. (And you’d see it—a lot.)
MLB Baseball: Cubs at Diamondbacks (WGN, 9:30 p.m.): Most ball clubs might wilt under the heat of an Phoenix in July, but the Cubbies have held spring training in nearby Mesa since the late 1970s. Oh, they’ll probably still lose to the first-place Diamondbacks, but they’ll be accustomed to the weather.
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
Supermarket Superstar: SUPERMARKET! / SUPERSTAR! / What are you? / How is your produce priced? / SUPERMARKET / SUPERSTAR! / Do you think you’re what Gwen Inhat says you are?