For those whose need to exert a measure of control over their life extends to tracking the hours of television they’ve watched—but not necessarily to watching less television—there’s the website Tiii.me, whose name serves as a dramatic reminder of all the fleeting tiiime you shall never see agaaaaaain. Simply type in the name of a TV show, choose the number of seasons you’ve seen of it, and the site does the rest, converting all that combined running time into the total days, hours, and minutes you spent immersed in someone else’s fake days, hours, and minutes. For example, if you’ve seen every episode of That’s So Raven, that’s so two days and two hours of your lifespan. Also, you should most likely be studying right now, not asking websites about TV shows.
To illustrate how it works, I made my own personal tally of all the TV I’ve ever seen. Fortunately, I’ve only ever seen the latter-day Burt Reynolds sitcom Evening Shade, leaving me with countless free hours for my other pursuits—such as scrimshaw, and writing letters to Burt Reynolds about why he doesn’t make more Evening Shade.
Of course, the website isn’t able to factor in watching episodes multiple times, as it isn’t totally cruel. There’s also no telling how much of your life you’ll spend entering TV shows, just to determine how much of your life you spent watching them. For that you’ll need a different website.
Send your Newswire tips to firstname.lastname@example.org