A guide to what we’re barely putting up with this week.
Bravo’s The Real Housewives Of Melbourne. Maybe it’s the accents, maybe it’s the layers of daytime neon faux fur, but this entry into the Housewives franchise feels more like an over-the-top parody of a reality show than a reality show.
E!’s latest sadness parade, Botched. Yes, they show off more uneven breast implants, ruined face-lifts, and infected tummy tucks than a museum of medical oddities, but it’s still less grotesque than Keeping Up With The Kardashians.
Liam Neeson’s latest Taken, A Walk Among The Tombstones. At this point, Neeson is a full-time kidnapping investigator/part-time actor.
Counting Crows releasing a new album. Nice try, guys, but we already have a band that makes whiny, milquetoast music exclusively for supermarket sound systems, and that band is called Train.
Rob Schneider for State Farm commercials. Nothing sells more insurance than resurrecting an overused SNL character that was annoying back in 1992.
The trailer for Kirk Cameron’s supposed comedy, Saving Christmas. Apparently the only way to keep Christ in Christmas is for you and your entire congregation to pay to go see Kirk Cameron pretend like there’s a war on Christmas.
The return of TLC’s most revolting freak show, 19 Kids And Counting. The adult Duggar daughters aren’t allowed to hug their fiancés, are forbidden to wear pants, and have to marry at 19 just to escape the baby farm that is their childhood home. What a wholesome family program.