A guide to what we’re barely putting up with this week.
Cinemax’s equal parts gross and engrossing 1900s hospital drama, The Knick. It’s kind of like House, if Dr. House was a steampunk cokehead.
Step Up: All In. With confetti bursts, glitter rainstorms, and silvery puddles, will they dance through this time?
The exceedingly lame larping reality competition, The Quest. It’s not Game Of Thrones meets a reality show, it’s a mid-level Renaissance fair meets a reality show.
NBC’s outdoor ego parade, Running Wild With Bear Grylls—a.k.a. Watch These Celebrities Go Camping.
Discovery Channel’s summertime waste-of-time, Shark Week. Live every week like you have no idea what your participation in shark week could possibly entail.
The only award show that takes place at the modern-day equivalent of Saved By The Bell’s The Max: the Teen Choice Awards. It’s great that we’re empowering teens to make important choices like who gets to take home the glittery surfboard for “Best Liplock.”
The completely unnecessary Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reboot. If you thought they were ugly as puppets, wait till you see how grotesque they look when rendered by Michael Bay’s computers!