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Werner Herzog will direct, hopefully give relationship advice to Robert Pattinson 

 Finally attached to some news that has nothing to do with his personal life, except in the sense that everyone who reads it is already thinking about it, Robert Pattinson has joined the cast of Werner Herzog's Queen Of The Desert as writer T.E. Lawrence—as in "of Arabia." Herzog has been developing the Naomi Watts-starring film, a biopic of English writer Gertrude Bell, for a couple of years now, most recently racing to get his together before Ridley Scott's similar competing project (a race that, given Scott's fickle attention span, was already won before it even began). With Pattinson on board in the other major role, the film is now due to start shooting in the fall, hopefully meaning that in a matter of weeks, Werner Herzog will be dragging Robert Pattinson out to the desert and giving him relationship advice, like, "Do you not look into the eyes of your lover and see only the hostility of the uncaring universe? As she bites her lip, so you must bite off the lumpen flesh of your heart and spit it out here, to feed the scorpions" or something. Would that we were all so lucky to have Werner Herzog around to get us through a breakup. 

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