A.V. Club Most Read

News Newswire Great Job, Internet!
TV Club All Reviews What's On Tonight
Video All Video A.V. Undercover A.V. Cocktail Club Film Club
Reviews All Reviews Film TV Music Books
Features All Features You Win Or You Die AVQ&A
Sections Film Tv Music Food Comedy Books Games Aux
Our Company About Us Contact Advertise Privacy Policy Careers RSS
Onion Inc. Sites The Onion The A.V. Club ClickHole Onion Studios
Get The Latest

When you don't know how else to say it, say it with a Human Centipede necklace

If you’re looking for a way to tell that special someone, “I love you so much, I would give anything to have my mouth surgically attached to your anus so that I could swallow your excrement from here unto eternity, then pass it through my intestines to a heretofore-unknown third party whose mouth is also surgically attached to my anus,” then you should stop looking at Zales catalogs and turn to the unfettered imagination of Etsy, which has this “beautiful recreation of the abombination that is The Human Centipede… an exact replica of Doctor Heiter's fiendish blueprints.” However, if you have an anniversary coming up, be sure to plan in advance: “PLEASE NOTE, DUE TO OVERWHELMING DEMAND YOUR NECKLACE MAY TAKE UP TO A WEEK TO BE MADE AND SHIPPED.” [Via Cinematical

Submit your Newswire tips here.