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Whoopi Goldberg Plays Dress Up And Pees In Her Pants

to make you feel better?

Apparently, in her downtime from The View, Whoopi Goldberg has been working on a little passion project that really allows her to flex her acting muscle. See, she dresses up as notable women in history (like Joan Of Arc, Helen Of Troy, Cleopatra, etc.) or well-known female characters (like Lady Godiva, and the princess from The Princess And The Pea), she adopts a strange accent, and then she talks about peeing her pants.

So far, she has made eight of these bladder control character studies, and if you thought the idea of Whoopi Goldberg accidentally urinating on herself was gross enough, wait until you hear her explain her bladder-as-squeezable-ketchup-bottle theory while dressed up like a princess doing a Brando impression:    

(Via Vulture)

With all due respect to Whoopi Goldberg, one in three women, and the many historical figures who evidently suffered from leaky bladders throughout the ages, this is not something that women need to discuss. It's not something that anyone needs to discuss. Especially if they're using words like "spritzah!"

Whoopi says she brings up her "spritzah" problem to people all the time ("Hi, I'm Whoopi. Occasionally I urinate a little in my pants. Occasions like...now."), and she seems genuinely mystified why constantly talking about her bladder problems would make others uncomfortable. She's like a live action Charmin bear. That'll do, Whoopi.

Still, maybe these commercials are helpful. After all, peeing on yourself everytime you sneeze is probably really embarrassing, but not as embarrassing as dressing up like Joan Of Arc and talking about "spritzing" yourself.