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Will and Jada Pinkett Smith may have separated, or not, whatever

Potentially bringing an end to the successful breeding program that has shaped the future of entertainment, complementary genomes Will and Jada Pinkett Smith are reported to have separated after 13 years of marriage and two lucrative children. Of course, this rumor stems from the ironically named In Touch Weekly, a tabloid that frequently amuses itself with flights of fancy such as tirelessly declaring Jennifer Aniston pregnant and secretly married or barren and suicidal on a monthly revolving cycle, while more generally serving as America’s foremost doomsayers of celebrity relationships based entirely on evidence such as a photo of someone not wearing their ring at the gym.

In the meantime, however, the only denial of the Smiths’ separation comes from the equally unreliable RadarOnline, who quotes an “unidentified family member” as well as an anonymous employee at the Smiths’ Overbrook Entertainment as denying the split, so really, who knows which pathological liar to believe? And normally we wouldn’t bother reporting on something so gossipy and unsubstantiated were it not for the classic response that Jada’s publicist Karynne Tencer gave to TMZ: “What? In Touch said that? I know nothing about this ... Lord. I'm going back to bed.” Rarely does a quote so accurately capture the exhaustion and indifference of a nation.

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