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Witness The Death Rattle Of The Hills,

Heidi's face-mask

The Hills is a pretty plastic hummingbird that for years MTV producers have been tossing back and forth through the air all while pointing at it and shouting, "Look! It's flying!" But the bird wasn't really flying. Nothing was really happening. The show just gave the illusion of movement, the illusion of life. We all knew that. 

Now, after seven seasons, the MTV producers have grown tired of playing with the pretty plastic hummingbird, so they've thrown it, hard, into a sliding glass door. The hummingbird, being a stupid hunk of plastic, never saw it coming. It broke its little hummingbird head upon impact—which would be sad, you know, if it had ever been alive in the first place.

In other words, here's the trailer for the final season of The Hills:

Well, there you have it. The show about polished air and subtitled fights in nightmare clubs is over. And now we know that when Heidi Montag cries her new vinyl face crinkles in such a way that it perfectly resembles Chucky's kill face.