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Woody Harrelson is trying to open a marijuana dispensary in Hawaii

Saturday Night Live
Saturday Night Live

In the future, if you ever find yourself wondering why Woody Harrelson stopped making movies, come back to this news story and it should help explain everything. According to The Hollywood Reporter, Harrelson is one of around 60 people who has applied for a license to open a marijuana dispensary in Hawaii, meaning there’s a chance he could soon become the pot king of an island paradise. Then there’d be literally no reason for him to come back and make movies for us land-dwelling, necktie-wearing, anxiety-ridden squares ever again. He’ll be too busy chilling out on a beach and counting his (legally obtained) drug money.

Hawaii will grant licenses to eight of the applicants, with the licenses given out in April and the dispensaries set to open in July. We don’t know much about the people and organizations that Harrelson will be competing with, but one of them is apparently Henk Rogers, the guy who picked up the rights to distribute Tetris in the ‘80s and co-founded The Tetris Company with the game’s creator, Alexey Pajitnov, in the ‘90s. Now he lives in a solar-powered house in Hawaii, so that’s pretty cool as far as backstories for your pot dispensary go.

Basically, whoever wins here—whether its Harelson, Rogers, or some less-famous person—the people of Hawaii suffering from medical issues (wink) are the real winners.

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