Determined to right the historical wrong that was Ivan Reitman's Twins—a film that mined the comedic possibilities of a massive Aryan bulwark being twin brothers with an Italian softball, leaving the obvious joke of "also, there is a black guy" just lying there on the table—Universal is moving forward with the previously reported Triplets, hiring Josh Gad to draft the treatment. The star of Broadway's The Book Of Mormon will use his familiarity with extended families and the hilarity of white and black people fraternizing to flesh out the sequel, whose story presently exists solely as a sheet of paper reading, "And then Eddie Murphy shows up." That, plus Schwarzenegger's helpful notes of "then, somehow, we would explain it," which are a beacon pointing the way to laughter.
Gad's treatment will in turn be transformed into an actual script—where, in succession, Arnold Schwarzenegger reacts with childlike joy to something, Danny DeVito growls, and Murphy says something sassy while they wear matching suits—by Ryan Dixon, a relative unknown who The Hollywood Reporter notes "oversees operations at screenwriting analysis website ScriptShark." Presumably he has similarly analyzed the "Twins + Eddie Murphy = worthwhile use of everyone's time" algorithm and deemed it solid, given that it leaves no "racial incongruity humor" remainder. Until, of course, they realize that they forgot to factor in the "demure Asian woman" variable, and then they hurry to make Quadruplets before everybody dies.
Submit your Newswire tips here.