Immediately contradicting everything he’s said over the past year besides the things that contradicted those things, Ricky Gervais has been confirmed to return as host of the Golden Globes, best known as that show that Ricky Gervais is always talking about maybe or maybe not hosting. The Hollywood Foreign Press Association made the announcement via press release today, noting that “not everyone is happy with the decision because last year his blunt one-liners targeting big-name celebrities caused anger and resentment in some quarters,” particularly those quarters that lived in a carefully maintained vacuum, their delicate, Faberge egg-like egos swaddled by sundry managers and publicists.
But these people will be wiping their snot bubbles with crumpled $100 bills again, as the HFPA—after crying out that Gervais had “crossed the line” enough times to convince everyone that he’d done something genuinely dangerous—has done the expected and invited him back after meeting with NBC, who reminded them that people actually watched and then talked about the Golden Globes all last year. Gervais addressed his rehiring on Twitter, saying, “Just told Billy Crystal he'd better not use any of my holocaust or pedophile material at The Oscars. He agreed (true),” while also answering Piers Morgan's request for another post-Globes "sorry if I offended anyone" interview by saying, "What if I'm not sorry? Like last time. Ha ha." Ha ha, he can't say that stuff, can he?