Backstreet Boys to release new album; world aflame with anticipation
Remember the Backstreet Boys? Choreographed dance moves, enough styling product to burn a continent-sized hole in the ozone layer, hypnotically symettrical sideburns? In case you're having trouble placing them they're the ones without Justin Timberlake or the gay wannabe astronaut (I'm sure he has many other fine attributes as well but when you're a gay teen pin-up who wants to go to outer space your less colorful qualities seem a whole lot less interesting). Well now they're back—in pog form! And also with a new album, This Is Us.
What does the group without Justin Timberlake or the gay astronaut sound like in 2009? According to a torturously written press release the new album is “an indelible and finely crafted R&B and pop album from four talented musicians who love what they do and who maintain the rare relevance in an industry that often disposes of pop acts.”
Yes, that’s right, a publicist was able to refer to the Backstreet Boys of 2009 as “relevant” and not disposable without her brain exploding. Honestly, what is less disposable than a group of aging boy band heartthrobs pumping out another album because they’ve been rejected at Tony And Tina’s Wedding auditions from coast to coast?
The new album, which features T-Pain (again, because they’re so relevant and not at all disposable) will be released on October 6th and forgotten by October 7th, shawtay!