Further Adventures In Press Releases

by Amelie Gillette September 13, 2007

From CNN:

Entire generations of guys have crashed and burned at the hands of Gamekillers; people whose sole mission is to cause them to blow their cool and force them to lose the girl. AXE has heard what real guys have to say about these evil forces. Now, along with MTV, they will show them how to spot these predators from a mile away and defeat them.

MTV and AXE today announced the premiere of the network's new series "The Gamekillers," a show that follows unsuspecting guys on dates with beautiful girls and pits them against a variety of characters engineered to test their game.

Wow. Thanks, MTV and AXE body spray. I've always wanted to watch a show that would teach me how to defeat fictional characters who were manufactured by a company that sells cologne that smells like someone spilled a bottle of Drakkar Noir in a veterinary office that was hosting a viewing party for the cast of Good Luck Chuck.

You're both performing quite a public service! Except, I can't help but think that the recommended method of destruction for "gamekillers" on the show will be to run out and buy as much AXE body spray as possible. Right?

While guys have experienced these characters in real life, the entertaining and suspense-filled MTV series will introduce them to the world in a part-scripted, part-reality format that turns the typical dating show on its head.

The series features real guys who don't know that everyone else involved, including their dates, are actually actors. As the Gamekillers are unleashed on the scene to stifle game, the guys have to heed numerous tips if they want any chance to win the girl's heart, or at least get in her pants.

Tips like: Take a shower with AXE shower gel, then she defintely won't be able to smell the roofies. Or, buy a travel bottle of AXE body spray to keep in your pocket at all times. You never know when you'll need to distract her from your unwanted advances by spritzing her in the face with something that smells like mall.

If the guy keeps the girl, he will receive the ultimate honor of having his name engraved upon the ancient AXE Gamekillers Chalice, joining the exclusive fraternity of men who throughout history have successfully defeated The Gamekillers.

Whether it's keeping their game environmentally friendly in front of Natural Disaster or letting The One Upper talk until the girl sees he's full of two things (the second one himself), throughout the show AXE provides tactics for defeating each of the Gamekillers and making sure guys know how to keep their game tight. The first show airs on Friday, September 21 at 7pm ET/PT.

So it's like Punked but a dating show that takes place inside a commercial for terrible body spray? That does sound "entertaining and suspense-filled"!

Will the unsuspecting guys be able to cop a feel from the girl being paid to wear an AXE t-shirt? How much body spray will be sold? And who will be able to achieve the ultimate triumph: getting their name engraved upon the AXE Company Shill And Potential Date-Raper Society Trophy?

Basically, it'll be like this, but longer–so you'll feel that much emptier after watching it:

[youtube:MjK-dl0cWlI]

It's Cavemen, but a thousand times worse.