Gwyneth Paltrow Needs To Be Stopped
For a luxury goods manufacturer, it makes absolute sense to hire someone like Gwyneth Paltrow as the face of your brand. She seems cold, aloof, goopy–qualities that no doubt inspire some people to spend thousands of dollars on a slouchy leather bag that is essentially a tangible, slumpy, portable manifestation of their deep insecurities and desperate need to be noticed. What doesn't make sense, though, is the decision to have Dennis Hopper direct Gwyneth Paltrow, and her Tod's handbag, in a 7-minute-long commercial featuring more Italian clowns than should exist.
The sexual tension between Gwyneth and her Pashmy bag is palpable. I'm so glad the journalist realized that shouting "Gweeeeneeeth! You bag!" over and over again wasn't nearly as effective as sending Italian clown emissaries to Gwyneth with possessions taken from her bag.
I never thought I'd say this, but after this commercial, and her cooking/road trip with Mario Batali, and the unattainable lifestyle website, can Gwyneth Paltrow please just go back to being a movie star, only entering the public consciousness when she has some role in a movie to sell? She's just not good at being a person. The Gwyneth Paltrow 2008 Insufferability Tour has got to end.
The sexual tension between Gwyneth and her Pashmy bag is palpable. I'm so glad the journalist realized that shouting "Gweeeeneeeth! You bag!" over and over again wasn't nearly as effective as sending Italian clown emissaries to Gwyneth with possessions taken from her bag.
I never thought I'd say this, but after this commercial, and her cooking/road trip with Mario Batali, and the unattainable lifestyle website, can Gwyneth Paltrow please just go back to being a movie star, only entering the public consciousness when she has some role in a movie to sell? She's just not good at being a person. The Gwyneth Paltrow 2008 Insufferability Tour has got to end.
