Gwyneth Paltrow to craft a night of theatrical diversion around the music of The Go-Go's
She recently acquired the most delightful beat and cannot wait to share it with you
Having increasingly expanded the bread-free breadth of her GOOP empire of lifestyle expertise—from the excavation and draping of your lumpy intestinal crags to the equally careful cultivation of fat-free aural delicacies—Gwyneth Paltrow will next use her passion for elevating lowbrow indulgences by handcrafting a theatrical production around '80s girl group The Go-Go's, turning their alcohol-addled antics and bubblegum pop-punk numbers into a proper night that all patrons of the theater paying a $150 minimum per ticket can marvel at in a more refined context. The Hollywood Reporter notes that Paltrow is currently in negotiations to produce the show based on the life and music of the group, with Belinda Carlisle and her bandmates reportedly still considering their own involvement and possibly writing new songs for the production, songs that would presumably then be vetted and deemed appropriate for inclusion in a Gwyneth Paltrow production. Still, Paltrow is obviously already a fan of The Go-Go's, having no doubt expressed fondness for numbers such as "We Have The Beat In Our Fall Must-Have Coach Carryall," "Head Over Lanvin Heels," "Our Lips Are Sealed With Jojoba Seed Oil, Which Exfoliates While Softening," and other spoofy things that sound like Gwyneth Paltrow's dumb website.