Horrible band causes horrible traffic jam to promote horrible song
Self-described “hardcore hip-hop band” Imperial Stars, like most struggling groups that are also terrible, were forced to resort to a little gimmicky self-promotion in order to garner some attention for their new single, “Traffic Jam 101,” so they staged an actual traffic jam on L.A.’s already-super-packed 101 Freeway by parking their big-ass, logo-emblazoned truck across two lanes, then performing the song for all the commuters whose lives they had suddenly disrupted, as well as the police who showed up to arrest them. Even better, the driver of the truck reportedly “fled in another vehicle and took the keys with him,” leaving the highway jammed for much of the day while officials worked on removing it. The band is now in jail, where it’s probably excitedly discussing how this is just like that movie Airheads, and that they’ll be cult heroes when they get out and everyone will love them for being badass, since this is just the sort of street cred you need to be a “hardcore hip-hop band.”
On the bright side, all resultant sales of Imperial Stars’ awesome song that everyone now knows about will go to help Homeless Children America; on the down side, if there were a way to give Imperial Stars negative sales, and thus actually steal money from homeless children, that would now be the life’s mission of pretty much everyone who suddenly found themselves unable to make their appointments, get home, find that much-needed restroom, make it to the hospital, or whatever else they were doing this afternoon before they found themselves unwitting attendees at a “hardcore hip-hop” concert in the middle of the highway.