House ends its run with a two-hour diagnose-a-thon
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Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Monday, May 21. All times are Eastern.
House (Fox, 8 p.m.): It’s the end of an era, as the successful, Emmy-winning drama ends its run on Fox, heading off to a generation of repeats on various cable channels, as well as having a clip of Hugh Laurie saying “Everybody lies” in every montage of notable TV shows for the rest of time. Zack Handlen has been covering the show for years now, and he’s ready for a little break from the show. Just a little one. We haven’t had the heart to tell him that after tonight’s clip show and inevitably sappy final hour, it’s all over. We think it just might break him, and he’d create a show about a caustic TV reviewer who diagnoses the worst things about bad shows.
Lost Girl (Syfy, 10 p.m.): Bo seeks a graffiti artist who’s exposing Fae secrets, presumably because somebody saw Exit Through The Gift Shop and thought, “Hey, my show about a succubus totally needs a storyline based on that film!” Kevin McFarland is pleased to be the Banksy of Lost Girl episodic reviews.
TV CLUB CLASSIC
Batman: The Animated Series (1 p.m.): Two-Face is getting an operation to restore his face? We didn’t know that Harvey Dent’s psyche could be so easily fixed with corrective plastic surgery, or else we would have tried this ages ago! Oliver Sava has been suggesting it for a while, but it’s just such an Oliver idea.
WHAT ELSE IS ON
American Ninja Warrior (NBC, 9 p.m.): In its infinite wisdom, NBC has decided that the way to compete with the series finale of House is to put on a two-hour episode of a G4 show in which various people compete to be… well, just look at the title. It’s really all there, don’t you think? Stupid ninjas.
Clash Of The Commercials: USA Vs. The World (CBS, 10 p.m.): Oh, if the rest of the world thinks it can beat the United States in the Olympics of commercials, it is on. C’mon, everybody. Stick up for our hard-working ad men and their many irritating campaigns. USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA!
I Cloned My Pet (TLC, 10 p.m.): TLC does for the pet cloners what it has previously done for the extreme couponers and the child beauty queens of the world: It gives them a show and helps us understand how they live. In this case, we’re guessing they live by coping with the grief of a lost pet by cloning it.
VH1 Storytellers (VH1, 11 p.m.): Jill Scott is here to sing some songs for you and tell you what inspired those songs, because that’s what this show is all about. Also, did you know this series is in its 16th season, yet we still haven’t had an episode about renowned ‘90s star Jimmy Ray? Who wants to know?
The Simpsons Movie (FX, 8 p.m.): We were pleasantly surprised by how much this movie resembles one of the mid-tier episodes from the strongest seasons of the show. It’s not great, but it’s an awful lot of fun, and the characters are perfectly realized. If you’ve never seen it before, it’s worth a look.
Kingdom Of Heaven (IFC, 8:30 p.m.): We’re not sure if this is the original, theatrical cut or the much better, much more awesome director’s cut that came out on DVD around a year after the original. If it’s the former, skip it. If it’s the latter, it’s a good one to settle in with for several hours. Get some popcorn.
Stanley Cup Playoff: Game 4: Rangers at Devils (NBC Sports, 7 p.m.): The number-one-ranked Rangers blanked the Devils in game three, 3-0, to take a 2-1 lead in the series. Tonight, they can go up to a more commanding lead, or the Devils can tie things up. Or… there’s not… actually another option, is there?
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
Sherlock (Sunday): Another season of Sherlock is gone, just like that. It’s easy, of course, when these things only run three episodes. Meredith Blake steps in for John Teti to check out what happens in the finale, and, no, she doesn’t know how they’re going to get out of that final series of scenes either.