People familiar with Jimmy Pardo—from his stand-up, his excellent podcast, Never Not Funny, or his job warming up Conan audiences—know the veteran comedian as an ace storyteller, which makes him well suited for anecdotes about gigs that didn’t go so well. For this one, he goes back to Operation Desert Storm, the terrifying reign of Lee Greenwood’s “God Bless The U.S.A.,” and some sailors at a naval base who turned on him.

Next week: Tig Notaro creates an emergency.