The accuser in the Elmo sex scandal has recanted his story, which everyone will just forget about now
Only a day after forcing everyone's inner child through an instantaneous painful adolescence, the man who accused Elmo puppeteer Kevin Clash of engaging in a sexual relationship with him when he was only 16 has recanted his story. Attorneys for Clash's accuser (who remains anonymous) issued a statement making it clear that theirs was "an adult consensual relationship" of the kind enjoyed by grown-ups—jaded grown-ups who are all too aware of the dangers of betrayal, and having your embarrassing emails splashed across the Internet while being threatened with a lawsuit that could ruin your career as a children's entertainer should the relationship ever go awry.
While details were not released as to why the accuser suddenly changed his mind, TMZ adds that sources close to the situation say that the announcement came after attorneys representing the two parties were "discussing a possible financial settlement and six figures were on the table," because Clash and his former lover simply working things out like two people who once cared for each other is the sort of fairy tale that only the children of 24 hours ago would have believed. No word yet on when or even whether Clash will return to Sesame Street, though Sesame Workshop did issue a statement saying it was "happy that Kevin can move on from this unfortunate episode"—an episode that was brought to you by the letters U and Can't Unsee.