The Amityville Horror house gets yet another movie to go with its dozen other movies
Continues to profit from being the only haunted house story ever
Promising to tell—for "the first time ever"—the real story behind the story that has been told in at least 10 separate films already, the aptly named Evergreen Media Group is preparing yet another take on the persistent, familiar tale of The Amityville Horror, as per the house's lucrative, surprisingly restrictive development deal signed way back in 1976. "You wanna make a haunted house picture in this town, you gotta come through me!" the house reportedly said while chomping on a house-sized cigar, chuckling through its front door about the fact that the last year alone has already seen the launch of Amityville Legacy 3-D and the Dimension/Miramax found-footage thriller The Amityville Horror: The Lost Tapes, and all it has to do is rattle a few cupboards here and there and keep raking in the cash. Now both of those reboots will be joined by Evergreen's own Amityville take, which is being billed as a "true prequel" built around the stories of original Amityville reporters Laura Didio and Marvin Scott, the footage of the séance they conducted in 1976, and "new disclosures from the Catholic Church" (which is certainly unfortunate wording). "Hey, I know it's probably overkill, but this shit's gonna buy me a bigger house," the house said, actually being kind of a dick about it.