David Archuleta

A hell-born cross between American Idol’s infamous Sanjaya and Tony Danza’s Mini Me, David Archuleta almost won Idol in 2008 despite numerous annoying performance tics: lip-licking, singing with his eyes closed, forgetting the words, singing off-key, and faux-humble giggling whenever he was praised. 2008’s self-titled debut was the first big post-Idolmove to establish this kid as a teen heartthrob, but he’s ill-suited for the job because, 1) he’s not cute enough, and 2) he’s an enormous cheeseball. And, yes, you can be too big of a cheeseball to be a teen idol. (Even the Jonas Brothers could kick Archuleta’s ass.) Nevertheless, the first record did well enough to justify two follow-ups, a proper sophomore record due in 2010 and (of course) a holiday album, Christmas From The Heart.

Updated 11/23/2009