Comedy is for closers: Confidence Men on improvising David Mamet
Giving the grift of laughter
From left: Tom Booker, Michael Ferstenfeld, Asaf Ronen, Chris Allen, Jeff Britt, and Troy Miller
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In translating the style of writer David Mamet to the improv stage, there's one rule to follow: ABC. A: Always. B: Be. C: Cursing. But as the members of Confidence Men have learned, there's more to the distinctive dialogue of the author of Glengarry Glen Ross, American Buffalo, and Speed-The-Plow than salty language. There's rhythm, repetition, and… pauses. Before Confidence Men started its June residency as part of the Hideout Theatre's Thursday Threefer, Decider asked Chris Allen, Tom Booker, Jeff Britt, Michael Ferstenfeld, Troy Miller, and Asaf Ronen to flex their "Mamet speak" muscles for us, all the while talking about how they've prepared for their Threefer shows, whether or not it's affected how they speak offstage, and what lengths they'd go to to get some choice sales leads.
Decider: Are you all here? Where's Mr. Miller?
Michael Ferstenfeld: Where is he?
Asaf Ronen: I don't know.
MF: Why isn't he here when I'm here?
AR: Well, you're here, so where is he now?
MF: I don't know where. He's not here.
AR: Apparently you can't coexist.
MF: He said he'd be here?
AR: He said. You all say—
Jeff Britt: Don't worry, he'll show up.
[Miller arrives]
JB: Sounds like a Troy.
MF: No, it's not him.
Chris Allen: It's not him. He didn't walk through the door.
AR: [To Miller] Walk more slowly, Mr. Late.
MF: What time is it?
JB: Yeah, what fucking time is it?
MF: What fucking time is it?
Troy Miller: Time for me to get a watch!
All: Ahhhh!
Tom Booker: I know a guy that'll sell you one.
AR: You know, if you'd arrived earlier, that joke wouldn't be so old.
JB: He's going around without a watch.
MF: Going around without a watch.
TB: The kids don't wear watches.
AR: The kids don't need watches.
TB: Now they got the phones.
AR: They got cell phones. Why would you need a watch?
TB: Don't need a watch—you got the time on your phone. You can't call with a watch.
D: How did you prepare for this show?
MF: [Gestures to Britt.] We did a Mamet play. American Buffalo.
AR: It was good.
MF: Memorized some lines.
JB: That was me and Mike. We did the Mamet play.
MF: Yeah, just me and Jeff.
JB: Yeah.
MF: Yeah.
AR: We all saw it.
MF: Everybody saw it except for Troy.
JB: Troy doesn't care about scripted theater.
TM: I couldn't go.
TB: You couldn't go?
TM: I didn't have a ticket.
JB: You had six opportunities.
MF: Seven.
JB: Seven opportunities. How'd you miss all of them?
TB: You've got to support the arts!
TM: I want to support the arts. I just find it hard to do things most days.
CA: Were you breathing? Were you breathing that day?
TM: Yes, I was breathing that day.
CA: Did you get some sleep that day?
TM: Look, sorry I couldn't go.
MF: What did you have going on? Was it a date?
TM: Look, do you want me to get my calendar out? I left my phone at home.
MF: You're going around without a phone?
TM: I don't. I feel naked.
CA: You know what else makes you feel naked? When your friend doesn't come to your play.
TM: The fuck do you care? It wasn't your play.
CA: I support the arts.
JB: He filmed the play.
MF: Speaking of film, we've also watched a lot of movies.
D: You watched a lot of movies?
MF: Yeah, a lot of Mamet movies.
AR: Yeah.
MF: Yep.
TB: Yeah.
AR: A lot of good stuff.
MF: Spanish Prisoner.
AR: Spartan. I'm a big fan of Spartan.
D: Do you think Mamet is a better playwright or screenwriter?
TB: Playwright.
JB: Playwright.
CA: Playwright.
MF: Yeah, playwright.
CA: Because that can lead into the screenwriting very easily.
TM: I don't know. They're very different. Because though Mamet is a very dialogue-centric writer, he does think very visually with his films. Spartan has very little dialogue. It's mostly action.
AR: Here's the thing—if it's a movie he's directed, if Mamet's directed the movie as well as written it, it's awesome because he edits it to fit the rhythms. Because you can't do that in a play.
JB: Most of the time someone directs a Mamet script, it's inferior.
AR: That's what we're saying.
TM: I wouldn't say that.
JB: I would. Go on.
TM: Well, he wrote The Untouchables, which is a great flick.
JB: So you disagree with that most of the time, which is what I said?
TM: Inferior? I would say no.
AR: Wag The Dog. Barry Levinson. Did a good job. And Untouchables, though I hate De Palma. Great fucking movie.
TM: Why do you hate De Palma so much?
AR: He's a hack.
JB: He's a hack.
MF: We've also been arguing and talking a lot for preparation.
D: Has Mamet speak slipped into your everyday vocabulary?
MF: For Jeff and I… Can't get out of it. Can't escape from it.
JB: This improv show, it's kind of a catharsis, at least for me. Because you do this Mamet play, all this dialogue, it gets stuck in your head. You're doing it in real life. We're talking to each other, la-di-da, "Mamet Mamet, this and that." It's kind of a catharsis to just be able to say what you want to say.
AR: It's very easy to slip into because Mamet is rhythms of dialogue.
CA: I would go so far as to say a lot of people who know each other have Mamet-like conversations. Basically, someone says something, and everyone else just repeats it over, and over, and over, and over again.
TB: It's a lot like a Meisner exercise.
JB: Yeah, Meisner. Repetition.
MF: Yeah, you repeat it.
D: One final thing: We've got the Glengarry leads. How does that make you feel?
MF: What do you mean you have them?
AR: How do you have the leads, and we don't have the leads?
MF: You stole them. You stole the leads?
TM: Fucking motherfucker.
JB: It's not important how I feel. How I feel? Where are the leads?
AR: In a democratic society, we should all have the leads. Why does one person have the leads?
TB: Just because the leads are stolen doesn't make it okay to steal the leads.
TM: Look, he's from Mitch and Murray. He's from Mitch and Murray.
All: Ah, fuck.
JB: I'd just like to take this opportunity to say, "Cocksucker."
