The A.V. Club Anal Cunt Song Title Quiz
Can you spot the fake terrible song?
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From ear-gouging noise to brain-bludgeoning metal, Anal Cunt's career has been one long vicious assault on the auditory senses. Frontman Seth Putnam's musical vision doesn't end with merely offending your eardrums though: He wants to destroy your delicate political correctness and trounce on every taboo decent folks hold dear. But when your singing style consists primarily of noxious, throat-retching gurgles, it can be difficult to properly espouse your views. That’s why every Anal Cunt release in the last 15 years has come with a track listing of some the most vile—and let’s face it: funny—song titles ever put down on paper. In order to prepare you for Anal Cunt's high-decibel indecency at Emo’s tonight, The A.V. Club prepared this quiz to test whether you can distinguish Anal Cunt's unique breed of hate-speak from our personally generated fakes. Take a look at each of these categories representing one of Putnam’s favorite lyrical themes and see if you can spot the one that’s not a genuine Anal Cunt song.
Pissing In The Mainstream
As a band that’s hard for even the darkest of metal fans to handle, it’s a no-brainer that Anal Cunt would have beef with the “respectable” music world—and as these songs illustrate, Putnam isn’t afraid to name names.
A) “Rancid Sucks (And The Clash Sucked Too) “
B) “The Red Hot Chili Peppers Are All Junkie Tools”
C) “Limp Bizkit Think They're Black, But They're Just Gay”
D) “Eazy-E Got AIDS From F. Mercury”
Answer: B. While the Chili Peppers’ increasingly bland blend of SoCal funk and adult-contemporary make them an easy target for jokes, Anal Cunt has never bothered to pick on them.
As a band that’s hard for even the darkest of metal fans to handle, it’s a no-brainer that Anal Cunt would have beef with the “respectable” music world—and as these songs illustrate, Putnam isn’t afraid to name names.
A) “Rancid Sucks (And The Clash Sucked Too) “
B) “The Red Hot Chili Peppers Are All Junkie Tools”
C) “Limp Bizkit Think They're Black, But They're Just Gay”
D) “Eazy-E Got AIDS From F. Mercury”
Answer: B. While the Chili Peppers’ increasingly bland blend of SoCal funk and adult-contemporary make them an easy target for jokes, Anal Cunt has never bothered to pick on them.
Female Troubles
Our anything-goes culture has been slaughtering sacred cows at a rate that would overstock McDonald's, so what’s still considered taboo these days? Why, brutal misogyny and rape jokes!
A) “Come Back, I Wanted To Rape You”
B) “I Got An Office Job For The Sole Purpose Of Sexually Harassing Women”
C) “Women: Nature's Punching Bag”
D) “I Became A Counselor So I Could Tell Rape Victims They Asked for It”
Answer: A. But Putnam’s probably going to steal that one now.
Our anything-goes culture has been slaughtering sacred cows at a rate that would overstock McDonald's, so what’s still considered taboo these days? Why, brutal misogyny and rape jokes!
A) “Come Back, I Wanted To Rape You”
B) “I Got An Office Job For The Sole Purpose Of Sexually Harassing Women”
C) “Women: Nature's Punching Bag”
D) “I Became A Counselor So I Could Tell Rape Victims They Asked for It”
Answer: A. But Putnam’s probably going to steal that one now.
Homophobia Is Totally Gay
"That’s so gay" has become an overplayed middle-school taunt that lazy comedians often rely on for an easy laugh. Yet we’re also living in an age when homophobia is denying America's gay citizens their equal rights. Is this joke even funny anymore?
A) “I Just Saw The Gayest Guy On Earth”
B) “You Robbed A Sperm Bank Because You're A Cum-Guzzling Fag”
C) “Rick Santorum Loves The Frothy Mix Of Lube And Fecal Matter That Is Often The Result Of Anal Sex”
D) “If You Don't Like The Village People, You're Fucking Gay”
Answer: C. Anal Cunt may be offensive, but they're nowhere near as clever (or influential) as sex columnist Dan Savage, who turned a bigoted politician's name into universally adopted slang.
"That’s so gay" has become an overplayed middle-school taunt that lazy comedians often rely on for an easy laugh. Yet we’re also living in an age when homophobia is denying America's gay citizens their equal rights. Is this joke even funny anymore?
A) “I Just Saw The Gayest Guy On Earth”
B) “You Robbed A Sperm Bank Because You're A Cum-Guzzling Fag”
C) “Rick Santorum Loves The Frothy Mix Of Lube And Fecal Matter That Is Often The Result Of Anal Sex”
D) “If You Don't Like The Village People, You're Fucking Gay”
Answer: C. Anal Cunt may be offensive, but they're nowhere near as clever (or influential) as sex columnist Dan Savage, who turned a bigoted politician's name into universally adopted slang.
“Play ‘Freebird’!”
The rare moments when Anal Cunt flirts with what could be called actual "music" usually means spastic grindcore covers of recognizable pop hits. Which one of these cheeseball classics has Anal Cunt not destroyed?
A) “Stayin’ Alive (Oi! Version)”
B) “Theme From Three's Company”
C) “Shakedown (Theme From Beverly Hills Cop II)”
D) “Escape (The Piña Colada Song)”
Answer: C. Sadly, Anal Cunt has yet to dust off The A.V. Club’s unofficial theme song.
The rare moments when Anal Cunt flirts with what could be called actual "music" usually means spastic grindcore covers of recognizable pop hits. Which one of these cheeseball classics has Anal Cunt not destroyed?
A) “Stayin’ Alive (Oi! Version)”
B) “Theme From Three's Company”
C) “Shakedown (Theme From Beverly Hills Cop II)”
D) “Escape (The Piña Colada Song)”
Answer: C. Sadly, Anal Cunt has yet to dust off The A.V. Club’s unofficial theme song.
Springtime For Hitler
What’s funnier than the Holocaust? Oh, right. Everything.
A) “I Sent Concentration Camp Footage To America's Funniest Home Videos”
B) “Body By Auschwitz”
C) “Hitler Was A Sensitive Man”
D) “Making Out During Schindler's List”
Answer: D. Something tells us a Seinfeld reference would be a little too “pussy” for Putnam.
What’s funnier than the Holocaust? Oh, right. Everything.
A) “I Sent Concentration Camp Footage To America's Funniest Home Videos”
B) “Body By Auschwitz”
C) “Hitler Was A Sensitive Man”
D) “Making Out During Schindler's List”
Answer: D. Something tells us a Seinfeld reference would be a little too “pussy” for Putnam.
I Believe The Children Are Our Future
If there’s one hard and fast rule of comedy, it’s that pedophilia isn’t funny—except, of course, when it is. Anal Cunt has fallen squarely in the latter camp, often finding rich veins of humor about when terrible things happen to innocent kids.
A) “I Made Fun Of You Because Your Kid Just Died”
B) “I Gave NAMBLA Pictures Of Your Kid"
C) “I Drove To Jordan, Minnesota To Laugh At All The Molested Kids”
D) “Your Kid Committed Suicide Because You Suck”
Answer: C. While the existence of a massive Satanic child molestation cult in Jordan, Minn. turned out to be a myth, that didn’t stop one famously offensive band from writing a song about it. It’s just that that band was Big Black.
If there’s one hard and fast rule of comedy, it’s that pedophilia isn’t funny—except, of course, when it is. Anal Cunt has fallen squarely in the latter camp, often finding rich veins of humor about when terrible things happen to innocent kids.
A) “I Made Fun Of You Because Your Kid Just Died”
B) “I Gave NAMBLA Pictures Of Your Kid"
C) “I Drove To Jordan, Minnesota To Laugh At All The Molested Kids”
D) “Your Kid Committed Suicide Because You Suck”
Answer: C. While the existence of a massive Satanic child molestation cult in Jordan, Minn. turned out to be a myth, that didn’t stop one famously offensive band from writing a song about it. It’s just that that band was Big Black.
We Mean It, Man
The bravest thing about Putnam may be that he's never afraid to show us his sensitive side. Sure, some suspect him of treading deeply in irony, but we think Anal Cunt is actually trying to open up and tell us something.
A) “I Respect Your Feelings As A Woman And A Human”
B) “I Totally Ripped Off GG Allin”
C) “In My Heart There’s A Star Named After You”
D) “MTV Is My Source For New Music”
Answer: B. There’s no doubt that Anal Cunt draws heavily on the work of The Murder Junkies, and Allin certainly helped pioneer the art of the extremely repulsive song title, but Putnam’s never copped to cribbing from him outright.
The bravest thing about Putnam may be that he's never afraid to show us his sensitive side. Sure, some suspect him of treading deeply in irony, but we think Anal Cunt is actually trying to open up and tell us something.
A) “I Respect Your Feelings As A Woman And A Human”
B) “I Totally Ripped Off GG Allin”
C) “In My Heart There’s A Star Named After You”
D) “MTV Is My Source For New Music”
Answer: B. There’s no doubt that Anal Cunt draws heavily on the work of The Murder Junkies, and Allin certainly helped pioneer the art of the extremely repulsive song title, but Putnam’s never copped to cribbing from him outright.
What I Like About You
Many of Anal Cunt’s best song titles are dedicated to you, the listener. From your sexual habits to your listening preferences to your physical appearance, Putnam has made calling you out his specialty—whoever you are.
A) “You Just Paid A Dollar On iTunes For A Thirteen-Second Song”
B) “You Look Divorced”
C) “You Must Be Wicked Underground If You Own This”
D) “You Are A Food Critic”
Answer: A. Anal Cunt came of age in the pre-digital age. So far, it has missed out on mocking the MP3 generation, but it’s new album, Wearing Out Our Welcome, could correct that.
Many of Anal Cunt’s best song titles are dedicated to you, the listener. From your sexual habits to your listening preferences to your physical appearance, Putnam has made calling you out his specialty—whoever you are.
A) “You Just Paid A Dollar On iTunes For A Thirteen-Second Song”
B) “You Look Divorced”
C) “You Must Be Wicked Underground If You Own This”
D) “You Are A Food Critic”
Answer: A. Anal Cunt came of age in the pre-digital age. So far, it has missed out on mocking the MP3 generation, but it’s new album, Wearing Out Our Welcome, could correct that.
That Old Gang Of Mine
Anal Cunt may be directing its most savage mockery at the world at large, but it isn’t above the occasional inside joke. Many of the song titles refer to friends, labelmates, and fellow grindcore acts.
A) “I Liked Earache Better When Dig Answered The Phone”
B) “Stealing Seth’s Ideas, The New Book By Jon Chang”
C) “Scott Hull Is As Hardcore As Your Mom”
D) “Punching Joe Bonni’s Face In”
Answer: C. A lot of people have ended up in Putnam’s sights, but Pig Destroyer/Agoraphobic Nosebleed auteur Scott Hull—whose song lyrics are almost as insane as A.C.’s—hasn’t been one of them. Yet.
Anal Cunt may be directing its most savage mockery at the world at large, but it isn’t above the occasional inside joke. Many of the song titles refer to friends, labelmates, and fellow grindcore acts.
A) “I Liked Earache Better When Dig Answered The Phone”
B) “Stealing Seth’s Ideas, The New Book By Jon Chang”
C) “Scott Hull Is As Hardcore As Your Mom”
D) “Punching Joe Bonni’s Face In”
Answer: C. A lot of people have ended up in Putnam’s sights, but Pig Destroyer/Agoraphobic Nosebleed auteur Scott Hull—whose song lyrics are almost as insane as A.C.’s—hasn’t been one of them. Yet.
Violent School
Violent imagery has always been at the forefront of grindcore, but Anal Cunt has generally gone for absurdity, black humor, and sick jokes. That’s not to say that a band whose first album was Everyone Should Be Killed doesn’t sometimes get its hands bloody.
A) “Foreplay With A Tree Shredder”
B) “Jack Kevorkian Is Cool”
C) “Domestic Violence Is Really, Really, Really Funny”
D) “Jonestown Was Fucking Hilarious”
Answer: D. Despite the popularity of the Rev. Jim Jones as a reference point for many musical iconoclasts, Anal Cunt has generally given Guyana’s own Kool-Aid Man a pass.
Violent imagery has always been at the forefront of grindcore, but Anal Cunt has generally gone for absurdity, black humor, and sick jokes. That’s not to say that a band whose first album was Everyone Should Be Killed doesn’t sometimes get its hands bloody.
A) “Foreplay With A Tree Shredder”
B) “Jack Kevorkian Is Cool”
C) “Domestic Violence Is Really, Really, Really Funny”
D) “Jonestown Was Fucking Hilarious”
Answer: D. Despite the popularity of the Rev. Jim Jones as a reference point for many musical iconoclasts, Anal Cunt has generally given Guyana’s own Kool-Aid Man a pass.
