Topping off your Waffle Fest with Continental Breakfast
What kind of waffles go best with tales of Victorian woe and purposefully cheesy talk shows?
Jon Bolden
The cast of Continental Breakfast
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Compared to the breadth of improv comedy on display at the Hideout Theatre's annual Waffle Fest, the free all-you-can-eat menu is pretty bread-and-butter—or rather, waffles and butter, plus anything from a veritable smörgåsbord of toppings that range from the traditional (syrup, strawberries) to the just plain decadent (the molar-rattling combo of Nutella spread and semisweet chocolate chips). The right combination of toppings and troupes is crucial to the experience, and while they're not geniuses of hospitality—only when in character—the members of Continental Breakfast (who hit the stage Nov. 19) are an obvious choice to prod for their waffle recommendations. The A.V. Club sat down with troupe members Jonathan Euseppi, Gary Richardson, and Mike Sullivan and director Michael Joplin to talk about what flavors would best suit their production, as well as their fellow performers' tales of Victorian woe and purposefully cheesy talk shows.
The show: Taking place in a hotel, each show begins with a guest’s check-out process, and filling in the details of their stay with subsequent scenes.
Recommended toppings:
Mike Sullivan: I was wondering if you could just get some raw waffle batter.
Gary Richardson: Hotels with continental breakfast always have those little cups where you can make your own. Maybe take a banana and cut it up with a plastic spoon, because they always run out of plastic knives.
Mike Sullivan: Day-old bagels.
GR: And a half-cup of pre-sealed Froot Loops.
The show: British love, laughs, and street urchins in the time of cholera.
Recommended toppings:
Jonathan Euseppi: Just a big turkey leg.
Michael Joplin: A bag of dead dogs.
GR: And sad orphans’ tears.
The show: Slow-burning, cinematic narratives, as performed by Austin improv veterans Shana Merlin and Shannon McCormick.
GR: Just strawberries and whipped cream. That sounds perfect, and then you eat it, and it was.
The A.V. Club: Do you guys have to say nice things about them because you were brought together through Merlin’s improv school, and received significant stage time thanks to shows booked by McCormick at Salvage Vanguard Theater?
MJ: Just put "warm dog turd" on there—oh, my bad.
MS: Get Up is always epic.
JE: At their show at the Out Of Bounds Comedy Festival this year, they went whale hunting, and then the world ended. It was awesome.
AVC: So this is pretty much the last waffle you’ll ever eat.
GR: Apocalypse waffle.
MS: If we were stranded on a desert island with one waffle, it would be the Get Up waffle.
The show: It’s fuckin’ Mamet. You know—Mamet? Playwright David Mamet. Hyper-masculine and profane theater, only improvised. Made up.
Recommended topping:
MS: Sausage. More sausage than waffle.
GR: And really bitter boysenberries.
The show: A televised morning talk show, where the chatter is always inane, and hosts Lorelai Reiser (Valerie Ward) and Elmo Shein (Curtis Luciani) barely hold back their contempt for their audience and their producer.
Recommended sides:
GR: Coffee and orange juice. Classic.
MJ: Curtis is so witty. When he’s in something like Improvised Shakespeare or Dickens, where you have to talk in the genre and use certain words, he’s ridiculous. Everything he says sounds like it’s been pre-written.
AVC: So maybe the waffle topping should be another, less slapdash waffle?
GR: Sure.
The show: Joplin’s long-running, quick-moving main improv gig with partners Craig Kotfas and Ace Manning.
Recommended topping:
MJ: Oh man, what’s the fastest, most reckless topping we could put on it?
GR: Gasoline.
JE: Drenched in Red Bull.
MJ: It has to be something that says the “peak-and-pop” style of Knuckleball Now. High-speed. Dangerous. Exploding. Injuries. I would just put a ton of butter and syrup on it.
The show: All-female, improvised, Broadway-style musical.
Recommended topping:
JE: Blackberries and jazz hands.
The show: Unafraid to find humor in some very dark places.
Recommended toppings:
MJ: Arsenic, hemlock, Velveeta—other various poisons.
The show: Game-based improv from young, UT-attending upstarts.
Recommended topping:
JE: What’s a gamey food?
GR: Quail. [All laugh.]
MS: Yeah, quail, right on top. Get that wrapped in bacon.
MJ: Something young, something fresh—yet old, tried, and true.
GR: Quail. People are going to be pissed off at us.
MJ: [Affecting nasally whine.] “You said quail for us?”
