Blog 8 fictional Tracy Jordan movies that need to be made a reality 

After years of underrated work on Saturday Night Live, Tracy Morgan is finally getting the recognition he deserves, scoring an Emmy nomination this year for his character on 30 Rock, Tracy Jordan. Jordan is essentially an overblown caricature of Morgan, except a lot crazier and with far more mainstream success. Jordan's erratic behavior has led him to showing off his "fun cooker" (bare ass) on live television, trying to stab Conan O'Brien, and biting Dakota Fanning's face. But before he was the star of the SNL-influenced TGS With Tracy Jordan, he was a movie-star hybrid of Eddie Murphy, Tyler Perry, and Martin Lawrence. His films have him cross-dressing, playing multiple characters, and exploiting stereotypes for all their comedic worth. So before Tracy Morgan does stand-up at the Horseshoe Hammond Casino's Venue, The A.V. Club is taking a look at the Tracy Jordan films we wish we could watch right now.

Honky Grandma Be Trippin'

Synopsis: Jordan plays an overweight elderly white woman who delivers her catchphrase, "You hooligans better watch out, because this honky grandma be trippin'!" atop a suburban porch.

Why it's a must-see: It's clearly adapted in part from Martin Lawrence's Big Momma's House, so we're giving Jordan the benefit of the doubt that his version improves exponentially on the Lawrence film and its formulaic sequel. Plus, it's mentioned that he plays five different characters, so we have to see what other four different pivotal roles he'll add to the plot.

Fat Bitch

Tagline: She's off the leash!

Synopsis: Jordan does the voice for a dog named Coco. The plot is blatantly modeled after The Shaggy Dog, but it is later revealed that Coco dies at the end of the film, a la Old Yeller.

Why it's a must-see: There are laughs, there's heartbreak, and it's got Jordan voicing the "fat bitch" herself. Plus, there's the promise of a sequel—meaning that in the 30 Rock world, it has the markings of a lucrative franchise. It could be a terrible comedy featuring Jordan's voice (a la the actual film G-Force), but there's always the chance that Jordan went off-script and improvised his own lines, as usual. 

Cruise Boat

Synopsis: There isn't a lot of information to be found on Cruise Boat, but we're assuming that the "non-hit comedy" is based on the 2002 Cuba Gooding, Jr. film Boat Trip. All that's known is that Jordan delivers the catchphrase, "I'm getting too old for this ship."

Why it's a must-see: Jordan's catchphrase in the film is the equivalent of Samuel L. Jackson's in Snakes On A Plane—the sentence alone is a huge selling point. Will there be antics where Jordan acts gay to get closer to the woman he loves? Is there an overweight sidekick involved? Perhaps an action-based subplot? All the more reason why it intrigues.

A Blaffair To Rememblack

Synopsis: Jordan stars in this remake of the 1957 Cary Grant classic An Affair To Remember. Again, not much is known about this title (although some websites have published creepily detailed reviews of the fictional movie), but let's just assume that it falls along the same lines of its source material, and more contemporarily speaking, Soul Plane.

Why it's a must-see: In the original film, Grant plays a European playboy who falls in love with a New Yorker. Now replace Grant with Jordan, the shirtless womanizer with a droopy lip. Better, right? Also, look at the title. Of course it's a must-see.

Who Dat Ninja?

Synopsis: Jordan plays a ninja in this action comedy, the poster of which is hung very prominently in his dressing room. It very well could be the Jordan version of Beverly Hills Ninja, but either way, it's got an awesome title to go along with the subject matter.

Why it's a must-see: In an interview with The A.V. Club, Morgan himself said it's the fictitious Jordan film he'd most like to make. Could it be a feasible reality? Could he actually take a month off, get in shape, and make a timeless ninja comedy? Probably not, but you can actually buy a Who Dat Ninja? poster magnet directly from NBC, so it can still feel like it really happened.

Jefferson

Synopsis: When Jordan gets the results to a court-ordered DNA test, the results yield the inspiration for a film honoring his ancestor: Thomas Jefferson. Seeking to re-establish himself as a legitimate movie star capable of a serious role in the eyes of GE CEO Don Geiss, Jordan heightens the stakes by—once again—vowing to play all of the roles himself, including Sally Hemmings, King George III, and the titular role. 

Why it's a  must-see: It's intended as a serious drama, which heightens the laughs. Although Jordan only made a laughably poor trailer to convince Geiss that it was a bankable venture, it contained many moments of inspired laughs—like when Jefferson fires off an angry missive that closes with him barking, "Eat that, King George!" with the sound of an inexplicable cannon providing urgency to his final pen stroke. Those absurd moments weaved into a 90-minute narrative would prove not only educational but also hilarious. 

Untitled Western where Jordan doesn't leave his car / Unnamed animated feature where Jordan didn't leave his house

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Synopsis: Not much is known about either of these movies other than they were both an easy paycheck for Jordan—and they've only been mentioned in the context of Jordan being wistful for how much easier he had it as a movie star. He brags to co-workers about once shooting, without getting out of his car, an entire movie that was somehow supposed to be a Western; in another episode he wistfully remembers the million dollars and a yellow Bentley he garnered for an "animated movie" he made with Shaquille O'Neal without ever leaving the house. In the latter, a space-squid version of Jordan asks a green-skinned O'Neal floating in space, "Would you call what we did last night sex?" Somehow, it still won a Kids Choice Award.  

Why it's a must-see: Both premises might be extremely vague, but the tiny morsels we're offered are incredibly promising. A Western shot in a car? A horny, intergalactic Shaq? It's not any less plausible than real Hollywood duds like Hotel For Dogs.