Taste Test A case of Christmas Ales

There are a lot of really important holiday traditions. Chief among them, of course, is the fine art of excess, whether it’s eating too many cookies or spending too much money on crap for Grandma. Of course, despite comprising upstanding and responsible adults, the staff at The A.V. Club has been known to overindulge from time to time, and mainly in the realm of delicious alcohol. Compound that lust for liquor with the staff’s general fever for all things limited edition, sprinkle in a dose of requisite holiday cheer, and it’s taste test time. A.V. Club writers from all over the country guzzled down a solid 12-pack of Christmas and Hanukkah beers, and rated them on a cheer scale of one to five ho’s, with five being a drink so full of good tidings that Santa himself may have made it in his workshop. Let the drinking in the name of journalism commence.

Bell’s Christmas Ale
Brewed in: beautiful Comstock, Michigan
They say it’s: “a smooth, highly drinkable beer intended to complement holiday menus.”
We say it’s: not as spicy as the majority of Christmas ales. In fact, it doesn’t contain any spices, but rather focuses on the beer’s “Michigan-grown” malt, which allegedly provides “toasted notes & subtle toffee flavors.” We don’t taste those really, but it sure can get drinkers toasted. Basically, it’s a brown ale or maybe a winter ale, albeit a decently tasty one.
Cheer rating: One and a half ho’s. It’s not too festive.

Lakefront Holiday Spice Lager Beer
Brewed in: Milwaukee
They say it’s: “smooth, full and spicy, balanced by the bite of Mt. Hood hops and a substantial, warming alcohol character.”
We say it’s: smooth, full, and spicy only if Lakefront says it is. To us, the Holiday Spice Lager tastes like Lakefront’s other drinkable, but somewhat staid, non-holiday selections. Which is fine, if you’re looking for something that goes down easily between sips of eggnog. But the Holiday Spice doesn’t really deliver on the promise of “the bite of Mt. Hood hops.”
Cheer rating: One and a half ho’s. A decent lager, but certainly the holidays deserve something a little bolder.

Sierra Nevada Celebration Ale
Brewed in: majestic Chico, California
They say itʼs: “wonderfully robust and rich...dry-hopped for a lively intense aroma.”
We say itʼs: complexly hoppy with a fresh, bitter flavor one would expect more from an IPA than a Christmas ale. Richer and stronger in taste than Sierra Nevadaʼs standard pale ale, Celebration isnʼt spiced, but instead strives to be an IPA specific to the holidays. With a variety of different whole hops being used and a hearty, inviting taste, this is holiday beer to combat or accompany the bitterest of celebrations.
Cheer rating: Three and a half ho’s. Itʼs more hop ale than Christmas ale, but weʼre not complaining—it tastes great. 

New Belgium Frambozen Raspberry Brown Ale
Brewed in: historic Fort Collins, Colorado
They say it: “begins with the aroma of fresh red raspberries, followed by the ripe seductiveness of a fruity brown ale with depth and delicate malt notes.”
We say itʼs: more raspberry than anything else. Itʼs strong, itʼs dark, and itʼs pretty damn fruity. New Belgiumʼs correct in calling it “deep ruby in color, with flavors just as rich,” but the overarching theme here is raspberry, and thatʼs what your mouth takes home. What does that mean? Well, itʼs not bad, not by a long shot. But it doesnʼt have that spicy holiday feel, and after downing two, most will be searching for something to offset that almost overpowering berry taste.
Cheer rating: Two ho’s. Itʼs good, but might be better served as a beer to mix than something to drink on its own.

Breckenridge Brewery Christmas Ale
Brewed in: Denver
They say: “The chill of a Colorado high-country winter calls for a beer with extra flavor and warming characteristics. Here it is. Breck Brew’s Christmas Ale. At over 7% alcohol, with a sturdy texture and rich flavors of caramel and chocolate, our holiday seasonal is the fermented equivalent of a good fire. The ultimate winter warmer.”
We say it’s: not too bad, but hardly full of “extra flavor.” It’s kind of like a souped-up version of an amber or red ale, with just a little more kick. There’s a nice zing up front, but it fades to nothing quickly. Still, it gets you nice and buzzed. No weird spices or anything to emphasize the Christmas, but it does have a lovely, festive label.
Cheer rating: Two ho’s—put a different label on it and the Christmas element is irrelevant, but it will get you plenty toasted under the mistletoe.

Anchor Brewing Company Christmas Ale, 36th edition
Brewed in: San Francisco
They say: “The Ale’s recipe is different every year—as is the tree on the label—but the intent with which we offer it remains the same: joy and celebration of the newness of life. Since ancient times, trees have symbolized the winter solstice when the earth, with its seasons, appears born anew. Our tree for 2010 is the Ginkgo biloba tree.”
We say: For the first six ounces, it’s a sufficiently joyous and celebratory holiday ale, with a middle-of-the-road amber body and pleasant fruitiness that is sustained from sip to swallow. Unfortunately, that pleasant fruitiness goes the way of conversations with elderly family members: What is at first an enjoyable and lighthearted experience becomes wearing and slightly offensive, and generally feels like something you just want to be done with by the end of the bottle. Granted, with this year’s spokes-tree being the Ginkgo biloba, maybe it’s best we don’t tarnish its rep as a memory enhancer, after all—although this ale isn’t doing much for the tree’s claims to be an aphrodisiac, either.
Cheer rating: One ho. The holiday season is one part warm and fuzzy feelings, two parts being more concerned with sex appeal than practicality. While this year’s Christmas Ale starts strong, it ends up being neither sexy nor practical, and it’s too fruity to allow anyone to get through enough bottles to feel warm and fuzzy.

Great Lakes Brewing Company Christmas Ale
Brewed in: Cleveland
They say it’s: “as festive as the season. Its copper color and flavorful taste are a combination of cinnamon, ginger, and honey…”
We say it’s: heaven on Earth. It’s both candy and beer, though not too sweet. Also, though it’s just 7.5 percent alcohol, it gets you alarmingly drunk after just two or three beers. Is it the spices? The organic honey? The alcohol? Whatever it is, we like it, and we want more.
Cheer rating: Four and a half ho’s. It could be more festive if it was served in an elf’s shoe, complete with toe bell.

New Holland Brewing Cabin Fever
Brewed in: New Holland, Michigan
They say it’s: “a roasty brown ale and a hearty, comforting companion for long, mind-bending winters.”
We say it’s: not a Christmas beer. That’s okay, though. Lonely strangers living in log cabins (as pictured on the beer’s label) deserve cheer, too. How else are they going to stay warm while making pipe bombs? It goes down real smooth, though.
Cheer rating: Two and a half ho’s. It’s a little lacking in cheer, like any solo holiday, unfortunately.

Shiner Holiday Cheer
Brewed in: Shiner, Texas
They say it’s: “an Old World Dunkelweizen brewed with Texas peaches and roasted pecans. The malty flavors of this dark wheat ale are enhanced through the use of malted barley and wheat. And Kräusening ensures a smoothness that makes the subtle peach and pecan flavors all the more satisfying.”
We say it’s: too subtle. The folks at the Spoetzel Brewery made a wise decision in sidestepping go-to Christmas flavors like nutmeg and cinnamon, but in doing so, they’ve created a brew that’s most notable for its velvety, dark-red coloring and smooth finish.
Cheer rating: One ho. There’s nothing wrong with a less in-your-face celebration of the season, but given the expectations set by its gift wrap-style packaging, drinking Holiday Cheer is like going to see the Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree, only to find a tasteful crèche in its place.

Jewbelation 14
Brewed in: upstate New York
They say: “Brewed with 14 malts, 14 hops, and soaring to 14 percent alc., Jewbelation 14 marks Shmaltz’s boldest anniversary ale to date. This Chanukah, candles won’t be the only thing getting lit!”
We say it’s: not the nutty, bitter taste of most brown ales. Despite the increase in hops and malts with each year’s brew, Jewbelation retains the aged-fruit tones of its genesis beer, Miraculous Jewbelation, brewed to honor eight years of Shmaltz Brewing Company success and the eight holy nights of Hanukkah. Its legacy lends Jewbelation 14 a smooth, sweet flavor that will fool the average drinker long enough to miss the burn of 14 percent alcohol content until halfway through a glass.
Cheer rating: Six of eight menorah candles, or roughly three and three-quarters ho’s. Sweet taste and high alcohol content perfect for encounters with judgmental parents.

Rogue Santa’s Private Reserve Ale
Brewed in: Newport, Oregon
They say it’s: “a variation of the classic Saint Rogue Red, but with double the hops—including Chinook, and Centennial, and a mystery hop called Rudolph by head brewer John ‘more hops’ Maier!”
We say it’s: not too bitter despite doubling down on the hops, but it still carries a good amount of bite. With a scant 10 ingredients—two of which are the giggle-inducing Pacman Yeast and Free Range Coastal Water—there’s not much room for spices or other such nonsense. Just like the jolly man who tries to keep it all for himself, it’s big, hearty, red all over, aromatic (?), and likely to put you on the naughty list if you mess around.
Cheer rating: Three and a half ho’s. Not as much sweetness as you’d expect from an amber, but a good balance anyway.

Abita Christmas Ale
Brewed in: Abita Springs, Louisiana
They say: “Generally, this beer is a dark ale, however, the recipe changes each year, offering a unique product crafted with special care. Enjoy your holidays with Abita Christmas Ale. The spicy character is excellent with traditional holiday foods such as gingerbread or spiced nuts.”
We say it’s: hoppy, toasty, and creamy with a hint of sweetness, maybe some caramel, and some slight hints of malts. It’s pretty light with some nuttiness. The “spicy character” isn’t as prevalent, though, taking away from its Christmas feel, but it’d still make a nice pairing with some spicy holiday food, as the brewery claims.
Cheer rating: Two and a half ho’s. It’s a nice, solid ale at any other time of the year, even winter, but it falls a bit short for a Christmas Ale.