Agenda: G.T.L., Lollapalooza. G.T.L. 

 It’s August, so that means the Lollapalooza behemoth looms large. The city bumped up capacity for the fest for 2010, bringing potentially 285,000 sweaty, Kermit-dress-wearing Lady Gaga fans to Grant Park this weekend. (Check out our Lollapalooza guide, already!) For those who don’t want to deal with shirtless Soundgarden enthusiasts, there are 22 official pre- and after-parties, including most of The A.V. Club’s concert picks this week. Add to that all the unofficial events, and it’s one hell of a busy week. Drink lots of water, okay? 

With such a daunting weekend ahead, it’s perfectly acceptable to spend the rest of the week riding that couch until the legs fall off, sucking in all the air conditioning money can buy. It’s a great week for it, too, with the fist-pumpers of Jersey Shore back in business. Guidettes and Juiceheads should check out our recent piece on all the choicest “G.T.L.” spots in town—that’s “gym, tan, laundry,” for the uninitiated. Chicago might not be Seaside Heights or Miami Beach, but our bronzing options would make The Situation proud. For lil’ Snooki, The Old Oak Tap and Handlebar have outstanding fried pickles, in case the spear on a Chicago dog just isn’t enough.

One thing the Windy City understands—just like the kids of Jersey Shore—is how to take care of its own. In June, Madina Lake bassist Matthew Leone was brutally beaten as he tried to intervene in a domestic-violence situation, ending up in the hospital facing brain surgery and massive medical bills. The local music scene has stepped up to the plate, with a recent Smashing Pumpkins benefit show raising more than $80,000. With roughly one-10th of the city downtown this weekend, it’s easy to become overwhelmed with local pride—hell, that Buckingham Fountain is pretty damn majestic—but hopefully this Lollapalooza, fest-goers will use their money to support a good cause, whether it’s Matthew Leone or Rock For Kids or local bands, in addition to buying dozens of icy cold beers. It’s what a good Chicagoan would do.