News Net At The Movies ends its run with two guys who aren't Siskel or Ebert

Since sifting through dull newspapers, hyperbolic blogs, and overflowing RSS feeds for meaningful news can be an arduous process, News Net catches and compiles both the amusing and the significant reports that were overlooked throughout the weekend. Here are some things to think about as the workweek begins.

• At The Movies, which started broadcasting Siskel and Ebert's lovable nerdom into living rooms in 1982, officially ended over the weekend with A.O. Scott and Michael Phillips reviewing Eat Pray Love and The Expendables. To commemorate the show's run, NPR posted a 1996 interview with Siskel and Ebert, in which they share two of their most beloved scenes: Siskel chose the pick-up line from Before Sunrise, while Ebert went with Mr. Bernstein's dialogue in Citizen Kane. Of course that was 14 years ago, and now Ebert's favorite scene is likely something from Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties.

• Still-celebrating (and possibly still-intoxicated) Blackhawks winger Patrick Kane showed off Lord Stanley's chalice to his hometown of Buffalo on Friday morning, but festivities turned tense when Kane climbed onto a fire ladder with the Cup and malfunctions left him awkwardly stranded, hovering 70 feet above his fans. When firefighters fixed the problem and brought Kane down 20 minutes later, he was "visibly shaking" from the incident. Luckily, Kane found the cureburger for soothing his jangled nerves: the easy listening island-pop of Jimmy Buffett.

• This week in restaurant comings and goings: Bleeding Heart Bakery has decided to drop plans to open a Lakeview outpost at 2961 N. Lincoln, North Center restaurant Sola at 3868 N. Lincoln Ave. will move downtown to 340 N. Clark, and chef Phillip Foss is leaving Lockwood Restaurant.

• Eugene Edgeworth, 35, was arrested Tuesday after the stolen Chevrolet Impala he was driving ran out of gas in front of the Criminal Courts building and just blocks away from the Cook County Jail. Edgeworth abandoned his car, which was inconspicuously sitting in a hotbed of law enforcement with its hazards lights on, then later returned carrying a milk carton filled with gasoline. He was arrested on charges of barely giving any effort to his criminal acts.

• Insane Clown Posse's annual Gathering of the Juggalos in Cave-In-Rock, Illinois was marred when TV "personality" Tila Tequila, inexplicably in the music lineup, was immediately harassed and assaulted by spectators within moments of taking the stage. Tequila sent a note to bastion of low-brow journalism TMZ, in which she claims "DUDES were throwing HUGE STONE ROCKS" and that some even "took the sh*t out of the port-o-potty and threw sh*t and piss." That probably seems like an attack, but maybe the enlightened juggalos were merely beginning to grasp the miracle of fecal matter.