A.V. Club eats Kendall College’s Grand Buffet final exam, passes judgment
David Wolinsky
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The phrases “culinary school” and “all-you-can-eat lunch buffet” don’t really seem to go hand-in-hand, but when Kendall College invited us to pay its students' Grand Buffet a visit yesterday afternoon, who were we to resist? It’s a veritable smorgasbord prepared for by students for their final exam in the advanced “Garde Manger” class. Think of it as a principles of catering class: It’s meant to get students up to speed on prepping cold food for buffets and banquets, or as the school’s website says, it’s “considered one of the most demanding and artistic specialties in the culinary world.” Rather than issuing grades to these students' efforts like their professors, we’ve elected to nominate and select our picks for dishes worthy of our special awards.
The Olympic rings take center stage to a turkey galantine.Award For Secondary Buffet Theme
Steve: The first chef we ran into informed us that “Greek” was the theme of this particular Grand Buffet (hence, all the column centerpieces and Olympic rings). But the subtheme, as it were, had to be ground-pressed meats—specifically terrines and rilletes. I swear, I ate more loafs and lumps-on-crackers than, well, ever. Some worked—like the gyro terrine with sweet apple chutney—and some not-so-much. Speaking of…
Squooshiest/Squishiest Dish
Steve: My entry into this category is also the most disputed dish we came across: the scallop, salmon, and octopus terrine—all the texture of Jell-O, with the surprise flavor of fish. Tiny chunks of peppers and sealife do little to hide the overpowering urge to shake your plate, and watch the green-and-white mold dance. David was indifferent towards this one, while I clearly wasn’t a fan.
Steve: My entry into this category is also the most disputed dish we came across: the scallop, salmon, and octopus terrine—all the texture of Jell-O, with the surprise flavor of fish. Tiny chunks of peppers and sealife do little to hide the overpowering urge to shake your plate, and watch the green-and-white mold dance. David was indifferent towards this one, while I clearly wasn’t a fan.
Entrée Most Resembling A Microwave Meal
David: Without a doubt, the baked okra, cod, orzo-and-raisin-stuffed peppers, and asari-topped maraconi and cheese. It sounds impressive, and the asari cheese was pretty tangy, but what we’ve basically got here is a Stouffer’s TV dinner. What’s worse, its tastes are misleading. The cod tastes exactly like mashed potatoes and the cubed carrots taste like pickles. How do you mess up carrots?
David: Without a doubt, the baked okra, cod, orzo-and-raisin-stuffed peppers, and asari-topped maraconi and cheese. It sounds impressive, and the asari cheese was pretty tangy, but what we’ve basically got here is a Stouffer’s TV dinner. What’s worse, its tastes are misleading. The cod tastes exactly like mashed potatoes and the cubed carrots taste like pickles. How do you mess up carrots?
Mmm, gyro terrine (that square with the round thing in the center)Surprising Twist On Otherwise Tired Dish
Steve: I’ve eaten at Hot Doug's many times and have swung by The Publican once; if that doesn’t make me an amateur sausage connoisseur, I don’t know what does. That said, the Greek lamb sausage showed major potential to just be yet another ho-hum meatish delight. Yet the chefs infused the juicy dish with cinnamon, adding the perfect sweetness kick to this already savory ’sage.
Simplest-seeming Dish With Deceptively Complex Taste
David: The goat cheese topped with a candied walnut and served on fennel. It didn’t look like much, and at first seemed mild. But once you start chewing, it gently breathes a soothing creaminess onto your taste buds, and finishes nicely with a refreshing sweetness. It tasted like cinnamon, which I don't usually equate with candied walnuts.
David: The goat cheese topped with a candied walnut and served on fennel. It didn’t look like much, and at first seemed mild. But once you start chewing, it gently breathes a soothing creaminess onto your taste buds, and finishes nicely with a refreshing sweetness. It tasted like cinnamon, which I don't usually equate with candied walnuts.
Dish Most Likely To Overcome Adversity
David: I hate tomatoes. Always have, and always will. Still, I’m always game to try something new, so I didn’t mind the student’s crab-stuffed cherry tomato placed on my plate during our gentlemen’s lunch. I fully expected not to like it, but was pleasantly proved wrong. The tomato served more as an arching texture around the sizable nugget of crab within. I’ll probably never go out of my way to eat a tomato whole again, but, hey. It’s all about baby steps to personal progress.
David Wolinsky
David: I hate tomatoes. Always have, and always will. Still, I’m always game to try something new, so I didn’t mind the student’s crab-stuffed cherry tomato placed on my plate during our gentlemen’s lunch. I fully expected not to like it, but was pleasantly proved wrong. The tomato served more as an arching texture around the sizable nugget of crab within. I’ll probably never go out of my way to eat a tomato whole again, but, hey. It’s all about baby steps to personal progress.
David Wolinsky
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