A.V. Club's Surprisingly Specific Last-Minute Gift Guide

Whether that 11th-hour conversion to Buddhism didn't take or you straight-up forgot [name of ubiquitous gift-giving holiday] was coming, it's time to dust off that wallet and shell out some hard-earned dollars for some last-minute gifts for your favorite loved ones to prove that, yes, you do love them—why else would you spend a fortune on overnight shipping? For every forgetful, cheap bastard in town, Decider offers this list of gifts that can be snagged with little to no thought behind them.

For Grown-Ups Who Spend All Their Money On Toys: Kid Robot Figures ($7-$100)
Sometimes waiting until the last minute can make you look like a thoughtful genius: Chicago's Kid Robot seasonal store, which opened in early October, is closing its doors forever on Dec. 27. The specialty store sells everything from eye-catching graphic sweatshirts to cigarette-smoking vinyl bunnies. Pretty much everything in the soon-vanishing store would be a good fit for your favorite spaz who can't collect enough limited-edition toys. Among the more eye-catching ones at the pirate-themed Wicker Park shop is an Akashi figure—it's a mash-up of Mickey Mouse and Nintendo's plumber Mario "shot into a particle accelerator and smashed together at the speed of light." Chances are whoever you give this to will come up with a more in-depth, fleshed-out origin story than that. Available at: Kid Robot.

For The Chicagoan Who Still Believes In Hope And Thinks It's The Thought That Counts: President Obama Advent Calendar ($18)
Depending on how much/little you have your act together, there's still a good handful of days that would be of use to the recipient of this President-elect Obama-themed Advent calendar before Christmas finally arrives. Created by former Chicago Sun-Times columnist Chris Whitehead, this calendar features John Edwards as the red-face reindeer, Rush Limbaugh, and Obama himself dressed as Santa—so, obviously, this would also double as a source of great irritation for your Republican friends. If you're really on the ball, you'll give two of these as a gift: One to count the remaining days before Christmas and another to count down the days before Obama is sworn into office. Available at: obamaadventcalendar.com

For The Carnivore With An Insatiable Appetite For Encased Meats: Hot Doug's and Vienna Beef Factory Gift Certificates ($29.95-$79.95)
Hot Doug's, the ballyhooed epicure's choice for dogs, offers a plethora of meaty wares, ranging from the mundane-but-still-delectable Chicago dog to the fantastically exotic-sounding brandy-infused Portuguese chorizo with saffron rouille and bucherolle cheese. Fair caution to your gift recipient: Lines around the block are the norm and the duck-fat fries are only available on Fridays and Saturdays. If that doesn't sate your intended's clogged arteries enough, head to the Vienna Beef Factory and purchase one of the multitude of Vienna Beef gift packages—there's nothing gourmet about it, but it still warrants repeat visits. Available at: Hot Doug's; Vienna Beef Factory.

For the hard-to-shop-for fuss-budget who likes quirky, handmade knick-knacks: Plush Taxidermy Animal Mounts ($30-$90 depending on size)
Even hardcore vegetarians have to admit that hunting trophies look pretty damn nifty hanging over a fireplace. That's why these mounted animal heads—made entirely from fabric and glued onto a hand-painted wood plaque—are perfect for either your animal-loving pal or the weirdo crafter aficionado in your life. Who would have ever thought you could own a stuffed buck, unicorn, pony, cow, or bunny without having to trudge through the snow and kill one yourself? Thanks, Santa. Available at: Renegade Handmade.

For The Fat-Ass Who's Easy To Shop For: Canady Gourmet Chocolates ($1.79-$75)
 Serving up some of the most premium sweets available anywhere in the city, this South Loop confectionery sells gift sets and design-your-own treat packages from a canvas of 60 different candies. Besides the assorted treats and truffles, Canady also makes custom gelato cakes, and, for the bulk-dessert fanatic on your list, sells chocolate by the pound. The chocolate is all handmade on site, and the ornate gift boxes, hand-crafted from Thai parchment paper and pressed with dried flowers, are almost a treat in their own right. The South Loop store is also Canady's sole location, lending your gift an extra touch of thoughtfulness and care—even though you waited forever to buy it. Available at: canadylechocolatierchicago.com