Christmas dinner for one

On Christmas Day, most people will gather ’round the hearth with friends and family in cozy living rooms. They’ll sip rich hot cocoa, sing heartwarming carols, and share a feast prepared with love. They’ll exchange presents and hugs, maybe even roast chestnuts on a fire as they watch snow falling gently outside the window. But some people—maybe you—will be alone this year. There’s no getting around it: Spending Christmas alone is depressing. But there’s no need to wallow in self-pity. Decider can’t put presents under your tree—do you even have a tree?—but we’ll help you whip up an inexpensive Christmas dinner for one via single-serving food products, because you deserve a holiday feast just as much as someone with friends and family. All you need is a microwave, and you won’t even have any leftovers to remind you of your heartbreaking Christmas alone.

What everybody else is having: Delicately seasoned and sweet-glazed Christmas ham, roasted all morning by mom.
What you’re having: Spam Singles (3-ounce package).
How to prepare it: Spam looks a little bit like ham, and a little bit like an eraser. The package says, “Just rip and tear your way to Crazy Tasty Town!” Translation: “You may eat this directly out of the package, like a candy bar.” It can be eaten cold, but if you want it hot, just throw the slab on a plate and microwave it for about a minute and a half. Brush honey on top for a glazed effect, if you must.
Price: 99 cents.

What everybody else is having: Aunt Susie’s homemade cranberry-cornbread stuffing.
What you’re having: Stove Top Quick Cups Cornbread Stuffing (2-ounce microwavable cup).
How to prepare it: Remove paper lid. Fill to line with water, and microwave for 45 seconds. Remove the stuffing from its paper container to make it seem more festive. This Christmas cheer is delicious, no?
Cost: $1.

What everybody else is having: Cheesy scalloped potatoes, sprinkled with paprika and baked in a casserole dish that once belonged to their great-grandmother.
What you’re having: Dinty Moore Scalloped Potatoes and Ham (7.5-ounce cup).
How to prepare it: Remove metal lid and microwave on high for one minute. Place in the Tupperware container left behind by your former roommate.
Cost: 99 cents.

What everybody else is having: Butter-braised Brussels sprouts, glazed carrots, and green beans almondine.
What you’re having: Green Giant’s Just for One! Frozen Broccoli and Cheese Sauce.
How to prepare it: Peel back the plastic film on the cup and microwave on high for five minutes. Then savor the taste of hot plastic.
Cost: $3.49 for a four-pack.

What everybody else is having: Mincemeat pie, or figgy pudding, or fruitcake, or gingerbread yule log, or some other such bizarre dessert eaten only on Christmas.
What you’re having: Little Debbie Christmas Tree Snack Cake.
How to prepare it: Remove plastic and eat. Be sure to smile, because this is the only time you’ll be eating better than everybody else.
Cost: $1.59 for a box of five.