"Cursed" restaurants

Loop eatery Petterino’s was struck by a cab on two separate occasions in the last two months, and it got The A.V. Club thinking. Sometimes, some restaurants just don’t feel right. Maybe the burger’s a little cold or the service is a bit rude, or perhaps there seem to be demonic wraiths haunting the joint, dooming your Cobb salad to infernal sogginess. Whatever the case, some restaurants have gotten a bit of bad press because of things beyond their control, so The A.V. Club asked local psychic Dena (who declined to give her last name), a specialist in tarot cards, chakra balancing, aura cleansing, and psychic readings, to analyze a few local restaurants in seemingly cursed situations—and help figure out what they can do to reverse the curse. 

Restaurant: Petterino’s
Cuisine: Fancy seafood and steak for dinner, like filet mignon and potato-crusted tilapia, plus tiramisu and pink peppermint sundae for dessert. Wash it down with Petterino’s signature cosmopolitans and martinis.
Evidence of curse: A taxicab plowed into this Loop restaurant on May 20, the most terrible incident for the eatery since it was hit by another taxicab on April 14. Thankfully, no one was hurt.
Psychic Dena says: “The area around Petterino’s suffers from a collective negative energy field. It could use an energy cleaning. The first step is good, old-fashioned elbow grease. ‘Cleanliness is next to godliness’ is a truism. Clean the floors, shake the rugs, dust, wipe off countertops, desktops, and all doors and windowsills and floor moldings.”
The A.V. Club says: Cleaner floors ain’t gonna cut it. Petterino’s needs a damn moat.

Restaurant: Cyrano’s Bistrot
Cuisine: French hors d’oeuvres and entrées. A typical meal: a plate of nine cheeses for appetizers, rotisserie duck for dinner, and a fruit tart with honey-rosemary ice cream for dessert.
Evidence of curse: In 2007, the Health Department inspected Cyrano’s because it suspected the bistro of selling then-illegal foie gras. Cyrano’s was cleared of that accusation, but didn’t pass the test’s check for “severe cockroach infestation.” Even worse, the poor health inspector had to return three more times before the bistro was rid of the nasty vermin. More astonishingly, on June 3, Cyrano's Riverwalk location suffered a propane explosion that hospitalized four, including the chef.
Psychic Dena says: “This is nothing more than haunting by cockroaches. What I would advise for them is a clean food-prep area. And a few roach motels, maybe?”
The A.V. Club says: While Cyrano’s presumably now has its roach problem under control, should the curse manifest itself again, it should try unleashing birds into the restaurant to feast on the insects. That may lead to a “bird infestation” problem, but hey, at least the cockroaches are gone. 

Restaurant: Ole St. Andrews Inn
Cuisine: Scottish bar food, stuff like corned beef and cabbage, fish and chips, and the GhostBurger (also the title of the next Ray Parker, Jr. single), a formidable but probably non-haunted beef slab with guacamole and cheddar cheese.
Evidence of curse: This Edgewater pub is supposedly haunted by its former owner, Frank, who has been known to break glasses, drink vodka, and even softly caress female patrons.
Psychic Dena says: “There’s a spiritual vortex in Edgewater, like a hyper-dimensional portal with many spiritual goings-on in that area, allowing spirits and entities to cross over constantly. The Inn would also benefit from an energy clearing, sage burning ritual, or even a land exorcism.” 
The A.V. Club says: A vodka-drinking ghost? That could actually be a good attraction, unless you plan to drink him under the table.