Duff Goldman
Where plugging comes with a price
Ace Of Cakes' Duff Goldman, center, not being "the cake guy" with ...Soihadto...
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People are always asking us to help plug something of theirs—an upcoming show, a new record, some book they wrote. Because we’re not in the pandering business, we think there should be a trade-off. Debaser allows these folks to plug whatever they want, with one caveat: They also have to tell us something embarrassing about themselves. This week, baker Duff Goldman of The Food Network's Ace Of Cakes explains his respect for Justin Timberlake and also reminisces about the one time he probably shouldn't have gotten naked. Goldman's band Soihadto plays Grape Juice Records' five-year anniversary party at the Double Door tonight.
The A.V. Club: You've got a band on tour, a bakery with a reality show, and an acting career that's just getting off the ground, plus the floor to plug whatever you want. Take it away.
Duff Goldman: I don’t know, man. Not to sound like a douche, but there’s new types of public figures that are emerging that are nicely bookended, and I am absolutely, 100 percent, completely, completely not comparing myself to Justin Timberlake. Right? But look at the guy. I don’t like his music. I can’t stand his music. But he is an incredible performer. He can sing, dance, play piano, play guitar. He performs. He doesn’t just play music; he performs. You see him on Saturday Night Live? Laugh-out-loud funny. Did you see—oh, shit, what was that movie?
AVC: Southland Tales?
DG: Yes! Holy crap. He was great.
AVC: And he sang in that, too, or lip-synched at least.
DG: Yeah. It was almost like all the speaking that he did was overdubbed, because usually they’ll show him, and you hear his voice, but his mouth isn’t moving. So it’s almost like he’s narrating. But he was so awesome. I mean, the guy can act, he can sing, he can perform, he’s funny as shit, he doesn’t take himself too seriously, his videos are incredible, but, I mean… Granted, yeah, I’m totally, completely not a fan of his music, but just as a person, as a diversified person, he’s into so many different things, and he’s not just kind of good at a lot of things. He’s really good at a lot of things, and he’s really devoted so much to so many things. And I’ve got to respect that.
AVC: That makes sense, though. You and Justin Timberlake both have parts of your career that, at times, you want to put in the background. When you're playing a show, you don't really want to hear someone shouting, "Make me a cake!"
DG: I guess, when it comes to other parts of my career… I am a chef on the Food Network. And I am proud of that, I love that, I wear that badge proudly. One thing I love about my show is that it’s a bunch of people that love each other, that are trying to achieve a common goal. That’s it. There’s no bullshit. There’s no made-up drama. There’s not fucking nonsense. So when I’m onstage, playing bass, I am not the cake guy. But the second I’m offstage, and I’m behind the merch table selling t-shirts, of course I’m the cake guy, and people want an autograph or a picture for their kids or something like that, of course, absolutely, no problem. You know what I mean?
AVC: Fair enough. Now let's hear your embarrassing story.
DG: [Laughs.] Okay, this is a good one. I was in college and I was helping a friend move, and she had borrowed a pickup truck from, I think, her dad, and we were moving her stuff out of her apartment on college into a house that she was moving into. And she had this crazy velour leopard-print couch. Beautiful. So we had this thing in the back of the pickup truck and the truck was parked on the lawn in front of the apartment.
And you know, you’re in college, you do stupid shit, right? So while she was inside, right out in the middle of everything, I got completely naked, okay? And laid down on the couch like a boudoir photograph, except I’m in the middle of the quad of all these apartment buildings. I’m just laying on the couch, on the leopard-print couch in the back of a pickup truck, buck naked. Alright, got my hand covering my junk and my arm behind my head, and I’m just thinking to myself, like, this is hilarious. Well, she comes back out and she starts laughing. And I’m laughing too; this is so ridiculous. And then she reaches in, pulls out a 35-mm camera, old-school, and snaps a picture of it. And I’m just like, yes, that’s so awesome!
Well, that photo’s still around, and somehow the camera crew got a hold of it. And they blew it up to a little smaller than poster-size. That’s on the door to a locked room inside the bakery where they keep all their cameras and sound gear, really expensive stuff. Now all my employees have seen it, and it’s a little weird. Like, here’s your boss, and he’s naked, on a couch. It’s a little creepy. Now they’re putting more stuff up on the door. Like, there was a Craigslist ad that somebody took out. It was like a fan that wanted some special attention from me. She described what she wanted and somebody found it and put it on the door. So it’s become this wall of like, "let’s just embarrass the crap out of Duff wall." Pretty much.
