Just Announced Dwyane Wade, LeBron James, Chris Paul, and Carmelo Anthony at the UIC Pavilion

Since they don’t have anything better to do, NBA stars LeBron James, Chris Paul, Carmelo Anthony, and local boy Dwyane Wade have teamed up to fight their boredom and probably make lots of money in the meantime. The four players just announced a four-city homecoming tour, scheduled to hit the UIC Pavilion Dec. 7. Tickets are on sale now and start at $45. That’s a fair price to pay to watch some two-on-two, right?

Maybe this tour is a neat idea for basketball fans to catch up on the sport they’ve been missing since the lockout began, but let’s not forget that as of late October, the lockout had caused an estimated 400 NBA employees to lose their jobs. We’re guessing everyone would be just as well off if we boycotted the tour, then all went down to Grant Park, stood in a big circle, held hands, and sang the theme from Space Jam.

Unconfirmed rumors (admittedly started here and now) claim LeBron James was hesitant to join the tour until his agent reminded him of two other strange marketing choices James made in the past. Following James’ decision to return to Ohio to play on the tour, for the second time in two years a loud, resounding cry of “Fuck you!” arose from jilted Cavaliers fans, who immediately began amassing a supply of torches and pitchforks.