News Net Fitness trainer arrested for allegedly touching his client’s no-no zone

Since sifting through dull newspapers, hyperbolic blogs, and overflowing RSS feeds for meaningful news can be an arduous process, News Net catches and compiles both the amusing and the significant reports that were overlooked throughout the weekend. Here are some things to think about as the workweek begins.

• A fitness trainer who believes he has a way with women was arrested after a woman reported to police he touched her vagina while demonstrating an exercise. Darren T. Brewer, 22, of Chicago, played it cool with the police saying that women flirt with him all the time while exercising. According to the woman, she was on the floor balancing herself on her hands and knees while extending one leg and after being told to tighten the muscles on her inner thighs she inquired as to whether she was performing the exercise correctly. Brewer then placed his hand on her inner thigh, eventually moving upward and touching her right in the hoo-hah. Much to Brewer’s surprise, she told him to stop, reported the incident to the fitness center, and left. Later, she reported the incident to police who arrested Brewer the next day, charging him with battery. Brewer told police it was clear she was flirting with him when she asked, in an assumedly sensual voice, if her “thigh muscles were tight,” which is a clear signal to any male that a woman is totally down to party. To Brewer’s credit, he did reassure the woman that he was not a “pervert or creep.”

• More than 1,000 people joined forces Sunday at the People’s Church in Uptown to draw upon the legacy of Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. The event was helmed by Occupy Chicago and the coalition was dubbed as “Occupy the Dream.” Illinois Congressman Jesse Jackson Jr. and Congresswoman Jan Schakowsky as well as Cook County Board President Toni Preckwinkle were among the elected officials in attendance who pledged their support to some goals of the Occupy movement. Jackson and Schakowsky both came to the stage and affirmed they would work to pass bills to create jobs and regulate the financial industry.

Meanwhile, the newly formed “Occupy the Dream” coalition continued on into Monday, calling for a National Day of Action to mark Martin Luther King Day. Leaders are calling for demonstrations outside all 13 Federal Reserve Banks around the country.

• A coalition of around 20 community and labor groups on Friday issued a public letter to Chicago’s City Council which outlined their collective concern with the revised proposals concerning protesters of the upcoming NATO and G8 summits that will be held in Chicago in May. The groups believe the ordinances proposed by Mayor Rahm Emanuel would “diminish both the rights of the citizens to peaceful public protest and the democratic tradition of our city.” Another concern are that these ordinances, which include steep hikes in fines for protesters resisting arrest, will be rushed through the council without enough “community consideration and input.” Perhaps the most discerning aspect of the new ordinances is that they could be applicable well after the end of the summits. The groups also plan to hold two press conferences next week ahead of the City Council’s vote on the proposal during their Wednesday meeting.

• Rev. Jesse Jackson chose to celebrate MLK’s birthday by sleeping on the floor of a homeless shelter Sunday night. Jackson slept on the floor at the Pacific Garden Mission on South Canal Street in order to put the spotlight on homelessness, or himself. Jackson said he intended to revive King’s war on poverty and Poor People’s Campaign.

• Left Hand Brewing will debut its nitrogen-charged Milk Stout bottles in Chicago this week. It’s the first nitrogen-bottled beer produced by an American craft brewery. The Milk Stout on draft is also Left Hand’s biggest seller. Binny’s will have tastings of the deliciously rich brew at its 3000 N. Clark St. and 213 W. Grand Ave. locations on Jan. 18 from 5-7 p.m. There will be additional tastings at the same stores as well as the 1720 N. Marcey St. and 1132 S. Jefferson St. locales on Jan. 20 from 6-8 pm. Additionally, Left Hand will host launch parties for Milk Stout at Jake Melnick’s Jan. 19 at 8 p.m. and The Long Room 8-10 p.m. Jan. 20.

• The Chicago Field Museum is planning a rare display of mummies from its own collection, many of which haven’t been seen by the public since the World’s Columbian Exposition held in Chicago in 1893. The exhibit is called “Opening the Vaults: Mummies,” and will cite the differences between mummification in Egyptian and Peruvian cultures. The exhibit will feature more than 20 mummies, humans and animals alike. It will run Feb. 17 through April 22.

• Contrary to popular belief, the Golden Globes do in fact still take place once a year. During last night’s show, Kelsey Grammer unexpectedly took home the award for Best Actor in a Drama Series for his role in Starz’ Boss. Grammer stars in the show as Tom Kane, the maniacal and lovably corrupt mayor of Chicago. He beat out favorites Steve Buscemi (Boardwalk Empire) and Bryan Cranston (Breaking Bad).