News Net Get ready for Chick-fil-A, Loopsters

Since sifting through dull newspapers, hyperbolic blogs, and overflowing RSS feeds for meaningful news can be an arduous process, News Net catches and compiles both the amusing and the significant reports that were overlooked throughout the week. Here are some things to think about as the workweek winds down.

·      Get ready, downtown Chicagoans. Chick-fil-A is launching in the Loop sometime next spring. John E. Featherston Jr.—Get it? Feathers??—the company’s senior director of real estate said the chickenry will probably open somewhere near Water Tower Place and draw far too many tourists for the comfort of anyone who works near there. The company is also looking to open a Lincoln Park location next fall.

·      Contagion, a “virus outbreak thriller” from director Steven Soderbergh is set to film in Chicago this fall. The film’s stars include Matt Damon, Kate Winslet, Jude Law, Gwyneth Paltrow, Laurence Fishburne, and Marion Cotillard. Don’t start camping out for Law-time just yet though, fans. Soderbergh is also filming in Hong Kong, among other locations, and it’s unclear as to who will actually have scenes in town or where they’ll be filming.

·      Kicking off the final season of her show with a bang, Oprah Winfrey surprised her 300-person audience with an all-expenses-paid trip to Australia, where she will tape a show at the Sydney Opera House. Awesome, right? Not for Australian taxpayers. According to the nation’s tourism minister, the trip will cost the government about $2.7 million of federal money.

·      Starbucks is testing out two fancypants new ideas at Loop locations: e-mail ordering, and a separate line for drip coffee. At press time, about 50 snobby regulars are using the e-mail ordering at the 70 W. Madison location, all of whom are too busy to wait in line.

·      TBS canceled the blandly funny Chicago-based sitcom My Boys this week, just as the show aired its fourth season finale. The show averaged fewer than a million viewers each week, and never quite found its niche market, but it did excel in Double Door T-shirt placement and fake Lincoln Park bar exteriors.

·      Urge Overkill is back together, making a new record with Tight Phantomz frontman Mike Lust producing, and have released a new MP3, “Effigy.” The group will perform at the Samuel L. Jackson-hosted Friar’s Club Roast of Quentin Tarantino Oct. 1. While the band members are there, they should thank him for their continued musical relevance, if it exists.

·      Evanston’s City Council okayed food trucks this week, making everyone in Chicago super jealous, except maybe people who live in Rogers Park.

·      Groupon tore up national media this week after its reported “hiring spree.” ERE reported that the company currently has 2,000 employees, up from 50 at this time last year. In August alone, it brought on 125 new staffers. In the meantime, the company’s Chief Executive, Andrew Mason, said the success of his site hinges on the 70-person (!) writing staff, tasked with creating all of the deal text.

·      Barack Obama, who some people have probably heard of, is dropping a children’s book on the country Nov. 16, just after Congressional mid-term elections. The book, titled Of Thee I Sing: A Letter To My Daughters, was written before Obama took office, and “pays tribute to 13 Americans, from the first President George Washington to baseball legend Jackie Robinson.” All proceeds from the book, which has a super-cute illustrated cover featuring Malia, Sasha, and dog Bo, will go to a scholarship fund for the children of killed and disabled soldiers.