Harry Potter gets... erotic?
At Quimby's, devoted fans develop the untapped sexual power of the adolescent wizard
At Quimby's, devoted fans develop the untapped sexual power of the adolescent wizard
Wes Giglio
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Fan fiction is perhaps one of the more fascinating and often icky manifestations of über-fan obsession, and perhaps no franchise has inspired as many reams of it as the wildly successful Harry Potter books. Earlier this month, Decider sat in on Quimby’s self-explanatory Erotic Harry Potter Night, an hour-long gathering of slash-fiction writers (enthusiast scribes who develop non-canon relationships between two or more male characters) that promised plenty of magical sleaze.
7:05pm: A huge crowd simultaneously piles into the store, grabbing seats, comparing Potter costumes, and learning each other’s real names. Obviously, most of the crowd are contributors to an online Potter slash community. There are more than enough people to fill the chairs Quimby’s laid out for the event, and it quickly becomes standing room only. The demographics here are very specific: Despite the promise of exclusively m/m slash, the crowd is made up of lesbians over 40 (70 percent), women under 25 or over 50 (25 percent), and two dudes.
7:07pm: One of the women there to read her work begins having a three-way conversation with her girlfriend, who is in possession of her “fic.” It quickly becomes a kind of comedy routine, greeted by gales of laughter: “If she’s not here in two minutes, guess who’s sleeping on the floor!” “And she says I’m the one who forgets things!” “Never trust a woman! Especially one you’re sleeping with!"
7:14pm: The organizer of the event, “Ravenna” C. Tan, is late, so it’s up to some of the more adventurous in the group to get things started. One suggestion is to see who “draws short tentacle.” Eventually a slight Asian woman wearing a fanny pack steps up. Her story is 100 words exactly, and details an encounter between Snape and Lupin in which branches from the Whomping Willow and a clutching, magical table play major roles. The ending is emphatic: “Remus came. Hard."
7:18pm: The next story finds Snape and Harry in a bind: If they want to protect Harry from Voldemort’s power, they have to work some magic only attainable by doing it in the butt. This should make sense even to those unfamiliar with the Harry Potter books.
7:25pm: The third reader is dressed in full Potter regalia, down to the shaggy haircut and the lightning-bolt scar emblazoned on her forehead. Her story involves some new magic that goes unexplained: Malfoy is able to detect the invisibility cloak. He uses his power for evil, torturing poor Harry by “wanking” right in front of him. The words “wank” and “pratt” get a lot of exercise in this group.
7:36pm: The story climaxes (hey-o!) with Harry’s revelation that Malfoy knew he was there all along. “You did this because you wanted to torture me?” gets a big laugh from the audience.
7:38pm: Ms. Tan arrives and introduces herself to the group. She’s put together a special edition zine just for this event, which includes the full versions of the stories being read as well as new fiction. “So, if you want something longer and meatier—I didn’t just say that.” She did.
7:40pm: The next author is British, with bristly blue hair and a laptop to read from. It’s torture-centric as well, but much more intense: When Malfoy confesses to a desire for pleasure, Harry has no choice but to cane a him. This part of the story seems to bring its own writer to the edge of tears, overwhelmed by the cruelty and the passion, the goddamn humanity.
7:53pm: Ravenna’s story is a chapter from her eight-part series, evocatively titled Between Boy And Man. A new hex rears its head in this poem as Voldemort curses Malfoy with having to be constantly “wanked” off. He can’t do it himself, and if he leaves it alone, he “moans like a small child.” Harry, who “had never touched another man’s broomstick in his life,” must perform a selfless act. How brave.
8:01pm: Tan wraps up the event quickly, wanting to get back to the convention. Arrayed at her feet is a bizarre collection of erotica and Potter memorabilia to give away to those who RSVP’d, including crotch-less hose, erotic dice, bookmarks, and a few framed/terrifying illustrations of Snape. Decider considers picking up a copy of the special edition zine, but is warned, along with the rest of the audience “who aren’t used to riding the train,” not to carry something like that around in public.
7:07pm: One of the women there to read her work begins having a three-way conversation with her girlfriend, who is in possession of her “fic.” It quickly becomes a kind of comedy routine, greeted by gales of laughter: “If she’s not here in two minutes, guess who’s sleeping on the floor!” “And she says I’m the one who forgets things!” “Never trust a woman! Especially one you’re sleeping with!"
7:14pm: The organizer of the event, “Ravenna” C. Tan, is late, so it’s up to some of the more adventurous in the group to get things started. One suggestion is to see who “draws short tentacle.” Eventually a slight Asian woman wearing a fanny pack steps up. Her story is 100 words exactly, and details an encounter between Snape and Lupin in which branches from the Whomping Willow and a clutching, magical table play major roles. The ending is emphatic: “Remus came. Hard."
7:18pm: The next story finds Snape and Harry in a bind: If they want to protect Harry from Voldemort’s power, they have to work some magic only attainable by doing it in the butt. This should make sense even to those unfamiliar with the Harry Potter books.
7:25pm: The third reader is dressed in full Potter regalia, down to the shaggy haircut and the lightning-bolt scar emblazoned on her forehead. Her story involves some new magic that goes unexplained: Malfoy is able to detect the invisibility cloak. He uses his power for evil, torturing poor Harry by “wanking” right in front of him. The words “wank” and “pratt” get a lot of exercise in this group.
7:36pm: The story climaxes (hey-o!) with Harry’s revelation that Malfoy knew he was there all along. “You did this because you wanted to torture me?” gets a big laugh from the audience.
7:38pm: Ms. Tan arrives and introduces herself to the group. She’s put together a special edition zine just for this event, which includes the full versions of the stories being read as well as new fiction. “So, if you want something longer and meatier—I didn’t just say that.” She did.
7:40pm: The next author is British, with bristly blue hair and a laptop to read from. It’s torture-centric as well, but much more intense: When Malfoy confesses to a desire for pleasure, Harry has no choice but to cane a him. This part of the story seems to bring its own writer to the edge of tears, overwhelmed by the cruelty and the passion, the goddamn humanity.
7:53pm: Ravenna’s story is a chapter from her eight-part series, evocatively titled Between Boy And Man. A new hex rears its head in this poem as Voldemort curses Malfoy with having to be constantly “wanked” off. He can’t do it himself, and if he leaves it alone, he “moans like a small child.” Harry, who “had never touched another man’s broomstick in his life,” must perform a selfless act. How brave.
8:01pm: Tan wraps up the event quickly, wanting to get back to the convention. Arrayed at her feet is a bizarre collection of erotica and Potter memorabilia to give away to those who RSVP’d, including crotch-less hose, erotic dice, bookmarks, and a few framed/terrifying illustrations of Snape. Decider considers picking up a copy of the special edition zine, but is warned, along with the rest of the audience “who aren’t used to riding the train,” not to carry something like that around in public.
