Jeff Garlin

Curb Your Enthusiasm fans probably don’t know it, but producer/star Jeff Garlin has been performing stand-up for nearly 25 years. He’s also co-directed stand-up specials for John Waters, Jon Stewart, and Denis Leary, though he plans to stop touring as a stand-up himself—at least that was the plan before the Writers Guild Of America strike, which will postpone his quasi-retirement for another few months. Garlin plans to eventually focus on filmmaking, an endeavor he began with last year’s I Want Someone To Eat Cheese With. Before what were supposed to be his retirement shows, The A.V. Club spoke to Garlin about his act in the early days and his profound love of pudding.

The A.V. Club: You’re retiring from stand-up?
Jeff Garlin: Yes and no. It was black-and-white that I was going—well, first off, I’m never retiring from stand-up. I shouldn’t say never. But I’m not retiring from stand-up; I’m retiring from doing the road. When I say the road, I don’t mean that I won’t come back and play Park West every blue moon if a promoter puts a show together. I have to focus on my filmmaking and my television work, and I just don’t have time, being a father and a husband. That said, I’m now—after I’ve said this is going to be my last show here in town—booking up a storm for January and February, but only because of the writers’ strike. I mean, I have nothing else going on. I have no other way of earning a living. I’m out there picketing all the time and so I thought “Wow, jeez, I’d be an idiot to quit right now because this is a way I can make an income.” And to be honest, I do enjoy it. I really do want to focus on my filmmaking and producing television and if I can’t do that, I have no choice but to keep doing the stand-up on the road. But once the strike ends, I’m a big bowl of done.
AVC: People usually say stand-up is a young guy’s game.
JG: Yes and no. I’m a better stand-up now than I’ve ever been. The road is a young guy’s game; doing stand-up is not a young person’s game. I’m a much better comedian than I ever was. Jerry Seinfeld says that he’s better now in his 50s than he ever was at any point in his life. Look at George Carlin, you know? But George Burns was going on the road in his 90s.
AVC: But you don’t think that’ll be you.
JG: No, that’s the joke of it all, for me. You shouldn’t say this, because what if you want to? I’m 45. What am I gonna be, like 55 and go, “I wanna go out and play all the clubs I can now.” Um, no. I’m done. Put a fork in me.
AVC: There’s something paradoxical about that, because people with more life experience would probably have far more interesting things to say.
JG: They do! They certainly do. I’d rather listen to a great 50-year-old comic than a great 25-year-old comic any day of the week. No matter how talented the 25-year-old is. Experience is interesting. Points of view. I mean, I’d love it if 90-year-olds could really get up and crank out the stand-up, because their point of view would be way more interesting than what anybody else has to say.
AVC: How has your stand-up changed since you started?
JG: When I first started and I was 20, my act was mostly—I don’t even know what it was. I started out doing anything I could to get a laugh onstage. There was no content per se. I was doing these weird characters. They were Dick Magenta and Mr. Fun. Dick Magenta would go up onstage and he was this fictional guy—it was a rip-off of The Nutty Professor. Dick Magenta, he helped this imaginary act named Trixie The Light And Her Magic Billy Goats. And Trixie and her billy goats would of course never show up and Dick was uncomfortable onstage and then he would talk about the experiments that he would be doing. Then he’d turn into this guy Mr. Fun. I would rip off Dick Magenta’s clothes which were, you know, nerdy shit, and then I would turn into this guy Mr. Fun, who just would do the most offensive one-liners, one after another after another. And then he would slowly turn back into Dick Magenta. I did that for about a year. And then my act was all about television and sex, nothing else. And if I combined the two it was even better. And then I was in Chicago, and from the things I was learning at Second City and some friends of mine, I listened to my tapes and I sounded completely hackneyed to myself. I threw away my whole act and decided that I was gonna start fresh and only talk about stuff that I cared about. This was in my mid-20s. And I proceeded to bomb, because I was really taking chances. I bombed like crazy. But I had the respect of my peers, which was cool, but I was eating it right and left. And then it came to me and I developed a voice, and that voice has evolved to where I am now, where I think that I’m pretty good.
AVC: You want to go out while you’re on top.
JG: No, I’d like to go out being a truly great stand-up. But I just can’t do it. I’ve chosen to be a filmmaker over a great stand-up. That’s really the bottom line. You have to give stand-up the proper respect to really be great at it, and that takes time and effort and energy. I don’t have that. So, for me, I’m not as great as I could be. I could be a great stand-up comedian, truly great, if I put the effort in. Unfortunately, because I also work in television and movies, I don’t have the time to be a great stand-up. It’s not that my show’s not funny, but I could be where people leave going, “That’s the best stand-up show I ever saw.” And unfortunately right now they leave going, “I had a really good time! He was really good.”
AVC: In your bio for I Want Someone To Eat Cheese With, and the movie itself, you express a strong love for pudding. Why do you like pudding so much?
JG: Why does somebody like brunettes? Why does somebody like redheads? You know what I mean, man? I just dig pudding. I don’t know why. I even like sugar-free pudding. I like pudding. I’m pro-pudding. Yeah, I can’t say enough good things about pudding.
AVC: You don’t discriminate at all? It’s all good?
JG: Yeah, I’m trying to think—I like vanilla, chocolate, I like rice pudding. I like—what’s the one with the little gel things in it?
AVC: Tapioca.
JG: Tapioca. I like all pudding. Pudding’s good. I can’t think of a flavor I don’t like. I’ve never seen a flavor I don’t like. The best you can buy in the store is Kozy Shack. But I like Snack Paks, too. I like pudding.
AVC: Swiss Miss is good.
JG: Swiss Miss is very good. I’ve never went, “Ooh, that’s bad pudding.” I have in a restaurant before. I’ve gotten pudding and went, “Oh, fuck. That pudding sucks.”