Martin Atkins

Martin Atkins has created a textbook for the un-textbookable: life as a working, touring musician. Granted, it’s not a typical text—by Atkins’ estimation, it has “fuck” in it 166 times and “cunt” at least twice. Neither is he a typical Columbia College professor: Atkins began playing drums at a strip club as a preteen, joined Public Image Ltd. at 19, and played pivotal roles in Killing Joke, Ministry, and Pigface. That’s in addition to running a label (Invisible) and his production work. All of that is a long way of saying Atkins, a longtime Chicagoan, is uniquely qualified to teach a course called “The Business Of Touring” at Columbia and write Tour:Smart And Break The Band, a compendium of his and 150 other experts’ experiences regarding the nuts and bolts of real life as a musician. Tour:Smart and its attendant website (tstouring.com) covers everything from tour routing to dealing with promoters to transportation, interviews, marketing, and beyond. But it’s delivered with a realistic lucidity that eschews rock-star fantasies to focus on what it takes to be in a band. Atkins recently talked about that and musicians’ crippling naïveté with The A.V. Club.

The A.V. Club: Going into life as a touring musician, what would have been helpful to know that you didn’t know at the time?
Martin Atkins: I don’t know if I would have looked at anything differently—I was on speed and drunk most of the time—but we can pretend. It’s weird, because I can see stuff—like the section about what the difference is between doing five shows a week and seven shows a week when you’re on tour—where by paying attention to that stuff, there are a few bands that would still exist. It’s not always about “Tour: Smart And Break The Band.” It was too complicated to say “Find A Level Of Success That’s Right For You.”
AVC: What’s the difference between having a management/business acumen and being a careerist douche?
MA: I understand the arty band that will say, “No, we didn’t buy Martin’s book, because, you know what, we’re all about the art and the music.” You know what? Fuck off. Because you’re going to be stranded in your van somewhere between Denver and Salt Lake City. Or you’re going to be in the studio, and you’ll hear mandolins in your head, or bagpipes or sitars, and somebody has to pay the session fee. Somebody has to pay for the extra day of studio time. If you don’t have the business acumen to do that, then you’re not in control of your art. You might say, “Well, that’s the label’s job.” Well then you’re in the control of the label. The label may or may not give you the money to do that, to allow you to express yourself. So fuck off. You’re an indentured servant. This is about taking responsibility. It’s not about money. Nothing in that book, and nothing I have ever done has been about money. It’s about being smart, and doing things differently, and creating opportunities, and enabling your art and your vision. I think 20 years ago, the whole art-versus-business, business-versus-art thing was just over. Give it up.
AVC: It’s never been easier for bands to get their music and information out there. Because anyone can, everyone is. Has that actually made things more difficult?
MA: What, are there 3 million bands on MySpace? I just drove by Lancaster, Pennsylvania, and I drove by this field of wheat. It seemed like every stalk of wheat was about 3 feet high, and the field went for about a mile. That’s MySpace. Everybody is exactly the same height. “Well, then how can I make my stalk of wheat one foot higher, so people could see it”? I think bands are falling for the marketing. Just to be clear, I don’t think you need a label anymore—just advisors and peer groups and filters and all of the things that come with the label, but not the label. But these kids are being marketed to, the buttons are being pressed so they’re like, “Fuck the labels. You don’t need to okay your music through them.” But it’s not the case that all of these mechanisms can’t help a band. I think that whole thing is going to crumble in the next six months. People are starting to see that [MySpace] actually is not doing much. It’s not helping very many bands. Yeah, everything is out there, but everybody else’s stuff is out there. It certainly doesn’t help if you want to travel to promote your music. Somebody clicking on your MySpace page doesn’t mean that they’re going to get dressed, get in the car, get on public transportation, maybe or maybe not pay for parking, stay out all night and see you. But, having said that, if you just want to put some tunes up on MySpace, fucking a, go do that!
AVC: What about the argument that good music gets found no matter what?
MA: You know what? The fucking musicians in bands need to get a clue. It seems to me that it’s the people in corporate worlds who are having the ideas, like MySpace and Jägermeister, who are building the mobile stage. There are promoters wondering why people aren’t coming to see a band on a Tuesday, and the people at Jägermeister are wondering where to put their mobile stage to get the maximum audience. “Oh, the San Diego Chargers are playing? We’ll go there.” “Oh, it’s Sturgis? We’ll go there.” But these leaps of genius are happening outside the music business. Most of the music business is sitting around, going “Good music will always be found.” Well, that sucks, you naïve, lazy bastard. —Kyle Ryan

Martin Atkins will host a Tour:Smart seminar Saturday, Nov. 10 from 12 to 5 p.m. at the Invisible Records offices. Admission is free (and includes pizza and Red Bull), but space is limited. RSVP to undergroundincpromotions@gmail.com.