Local Newswire New NASA satellite map confirms there aren’t really any trees in Illinois

The fact that the Space Shuttle program ended last year hasn’t stopped NASA from making us feel guilty and insecure about the world around us. First it was our inferiority to the Commies and their Sputnik, and then it was the probability of extraterrestrial life on Mars. The most recent news focuses a bit closer to home. Using satellite data, NASA has released a map of trees in the U.S. which shows an awful lot of white space.

Granted, trees never really grew well across the Great Plains, so we can cut them a little slack, but it’s also true that we wiped out a ton of trees with the noble ideology we call Manifest Destiny. Despite the overall shortage of woody biomass, the Northeast shows plenty of green, a result of reforestation efforts to counteract logging. Not surprisingly, the Pacific Northwest is also loaded with trees, perfect for sitting under while listening to Fleet Foxes and eating a picnic of organic, free-range chicken sandwiches.