News Net O Captain, my Captain: The Clash’s Paul Simonon is really into submarines

Since sifting through dull newspapers, hyperbolic blogs, and overflowing RSS feeds for meaningful news can be an arduous process, News Net catches and compiles both the amusing and the significant reports that were overlooked throughout the workweek. Here are some things to think about as the weekend begins.

• The Clash’s Mick Jones and Paul Simonon stopped in, separately, at Myopic Books in Wicker Park this weekend. They were both in town to play with Gorillaz. Simonon, apart from being the best dressed man in rock ’n’ roll, is also apparently into submarines, which is awesome. Alas, his book was out of stock.

• Here’s some more breaking news: Tina Fey is super awesome. Shocking, right? The actress/writer responded to some 30 Rock viewer letters over on Hulu, expounding, at length, about Chicago food’s awesomeness, from her preference for Jimmy John’s over Potbelly to her favorite waitress at The Golden Apple. Frankly, we’re sold. Athenian roasted chicken? We’re coming for you.

• Dancing hunk Channing Tatum is back in town, filming a movie with the equally dreamy Rachel McAdams. Matt Damon, Kate Winslet, and Marion Cotillard are all staying at The Peninsula while they’re in town, also filming a movie.

• Though this is still too little information to really be news, Paul Kahan is opening another restaurant in Chicago, ideally near one of his other projects, The Publican. It’s going to be a beer restaurant, and that’s all the information so far, really. It’s enough, though.

• A drunk driver hit another car outside the Rock and Roll McDonald’s this past weekend. He then proceeded to flee the scene, deny it was his car, ultimately recant his story, and then registered a blood alcohol of .323 at the hospital. That was a considerable amount of time after the accident happened, so lord knows what planet this guy was on at the time of the crash. It’s not unfair, though, to blame the distracting lights of the gleaming Rock and Roll McDonald’s. Hey, it did strange things to R. Kelly too.