Other Chicago websites that desperately need a redesign
This doesn't cut it as a web site.
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You may have already noticed that The A.V. Club just got gussied up with a fancy new redesign. It’s been a long time coming—since we changed our name back, we’ve just been The A.V. Club in Decider’s hollow shell for a lonely couple of months. But, in the spirit of our turning over a new digital leaf, we scoured the Internet for websites from Chicago cohorts that also are desperately in need of a redesign. If we can do it, so can you guys.
Website: chicagopolkaholics.com, The Polkaholics’ official website.
Signs of age: This would’ve been cutting-edge in the early ‘90s. But as 2010 inches closer, the psychedelic background and the enormous .gif animation of a monster at the top of the page are painfully tacky—even for an intentionally tacky polka band.
Diagnosis: Certainly keep the tackiness, but change that terrible wallpaper in the background. Also, it might be easier on the eyes to make all of the fonts one color. And come on, don’t we all know better than to use an animated .gif? If you’re going to use one at all, make it a little smaller and bury it under some text. The music should be the focus here, not its clunky presentation.
Website: machoman.com, the official homepage of Downers Grove resident, rapper, actor, and six-time world champion, “Macho Man” Randy Savage.
Signs of age: Upon entering, you’re greeted by a logo reading, “MachoMan.com: Put Your Face In Front Of It!” As if the inexplicable catchphrase isn’t confusing enough, try clicking on the link. It takes you right back to the logo, and ultimately, through a never-ending cycle of anti-climactic demise.
Diagnosis: There is an ocean of Randy Savage material to put in there, like a discography, greatest wrestling matches, or awesome Slim Jim commercials. Just do something with it.
Website: myspace.com/therealkelmitchell, the real MySpace for the Chicago-born comedian/rapper best known for his role on the Nickelodeon sitcom Kenan & Kel (not to be confused with the imposter at myspace.com/kelmitchell).
Signs of age: The Mystery Men co-star’s MySpace page is organized like a little kid’s cluttered bedroom. There are piles of YouTube videos, fliers for events that have long since passed, and enormous photos of Kel, some of which look like they’ve been taken by the paparazzi.
Diagnosis: Lose that wallpaper of Kel in a suggestive pose. The exposed half-nipple is too much. And if you’re going to include YouTube videos, have two or three important ones (but keep the Michael Jackson parody, "Bichael Taxson"). Also, shrink those photos so the site doesn’t take up two entire computer screens. And please, don’t tease us with fliers for past events starring the Orange Soda-loving, unsuccessful half of the Kenan & Kel duo. People want to see those “Comedy/R&B/Hip-Hop” shows. Really.
Website: geocities.com/maatguidesme2u/sam_greenlee/, the official site of Sam Greenlee, the Chicago author who wrote the book and 1973 blaxploitation film The Spook Who Sat By The Door.
Signs of age: If “geocities” in the URL didn’t give it away already, this website preserves the glory days of AOL user profiles. Most of the fonts are in italics and there are a few images that were clearly pulled from Google searches. The site offers no new information or insights regarding Greenlee or his work. It does, however, promise that he will greet you “with a long, warm, gentle but firm hug.”
Diagnosis: Somebody needs to work closely with Sam Greenlee to develop an elegant, simple and well-organized SamGreenlee.com. Nobody will remember the current URL as-is, so make it logical and short. This site attempts to include a list of his works, but instead, provides an empty spreadsheet. How about you fill that out? Also, include some new information about him. He’s one of the great authors of the Black Arts Movement—what’s he doing lately?
