Rock 'N' Roll McDonald's
Jon Graef
More Tourist Trap
Wesley Willis says: "McDonald's is the place to rock / It is a restaurant where they buy food to eat / It is a good place to listen to the music / People flock here to get down to the rock music." (From the song "Rock N Roll Mcdonalds")
The A.V. Club says: One small correction: The people who flocked here used to get down to the rock music. One of the most famous McDonald's in the world, the restaurant at 600 N. Clark St. underwent a multi-million dollar demolition and renovation in 2004 which, strangely enough, got rid of most of the rock 'n' roll. This included, but was not limited to, wall portraits of rock 'n' roll greats like Jimi Hendrix.
So where did the rock go? It’s been relegated to a sad, lonely annex with questionable memorabilia from the likes of Elvis, Chuck Berry, and The Beatles. And that’s it. (Dig the certificate of authenticity for a replica of one of Elvis’ guitars.)
In its place, you’ll find a two-story restaurant divided as such: On the first floor, there's Italian lighting, plasma display flat-screen televisions that play nothing but McDonald’s commercials, a section devoted to “Chicago Firsts,” and an insane number of cash registers. The menu runs $1-$2 more than what you’d pay for the exact same item at any other location. That ain't rock 'n' roll, but, on the bright side, service is prompt, and snack wraps remain a cheap, guilty pleasure.
On the second floor, the south side hosts a time-capsule museum featuring pop-culture artifacts from every decade the restaurant has been in business (8-tracks, Pogs, Game Boys, etc.), as well as a history of the restaurant itself. The north end has leather seats, lite-jazz pumping through speakers, and a Starbucks-esque bistro that serves muffins, cookies, and cappuccinos. That also ain't rock 'n' roll.
Rock 'N' Roll McDonald's has the capacity for 300 people, three times that of a normal McDonald's. So, at the very least, you have space to wander around. However, doing so will serve as a 20,000-square-foot exercise in cognitive dissonance: What is a Rock 'N' Roll McDonalds with no rock 'n' roll?
Tourist Trap? Pretty much. But at least it produced this song:
